Elon Musk Engaged PI to Check ‘Pedo Guy’ But It Turns Out the PI is a Scammer

By
Victor Fong
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If you don’t know who Elon Musk is, you are probably the equivalent of a random person living in the Marvel Cinematic Universe who gets saved by random superheroes all the time yet don’t know who the heck Iron Man is.

And in case you think I’m making that comparison for fun – Robert Downey Jr actually did use Elon Musk as an inspiration for getting into the Iron Man character.

That’s right, this is a man so badass that instead of having the capabilities to become a superhero and then becoming one, he inspired a superhero.

If one day Mars was renamed to Elon Mars, you can thank Elon for starting the plans to start colonising Mars.

Image; Giphy

And you’d think that a person like that is all serious business, but if anything, his tweets prove that he is one of us.

Like making memes on Thanos and rats in the 14th century:

And making fake news about deleting Fortnite to save kids from eternal virginity:

With the amount of tweets Elon sends in a day, you can be expected to forget about a certain incident that happened more than a year ago.

One incident that resulted in pretty big outrage.

But oh, the internet never forgets.

Recap: Elon Musk Calls A Thai Cave Diver “Pedo”

So here’s what happened in the previous episode (if you don’t feel like reading the link;)):

  • 12 boys and their soccer coach got trapped in a cave in Thailand.
  • Rescue efforts were harder than imagined (this case involved even international efforts, so head to Wiki if you want to know more than just Elon)
  • Elon had been asked by authorities for help, but initially declined because he thought they had everything under control
  • an ex-Navy Seal Diver died in the rescue efforts
  • Elon decided to help with mini-submarines
  • Rescuers decided not to use the mini-submarines

Vernon Unsworth, a member of the rescue team whose role is to provide information on the cave as he had spent 6 years exploring it and was also the one who pinpointed where the boys and assistant coach could be, then commented on Elon’s help.

He said that the mini-submarines “had absolutely no chance of working” and it was “just a PR stunt”.

Elon, being the Twitter wizard that he is, sent out the following:

Image: abc.net.au

Everything went viral because of the drama, and one thing, in particular, stood out. Which was the “pedo guy” comment of course.

The tweet was later removed, but the damage was already done. Shit went crazy, Elon was forced to reply. But instead of apologising, Elon said:”

“I f***ing hope he sues me.”

So, Elon Got Sued

Image: Memecreator

It was, of course, not very surprising that it actually happened when he asked for it.

So Elon defended the statement. According to Reuters, by saying that “pedo guy” was “a common insult used in South Africa when I was growing up.”

The expression was “synonymous with ‘creepy old man’” used to insult someone’s appearance.

Is “Pedo Guy” Real Slang?

Business Insider says that the slang does not appear to be documented, but there are some South Africans on Twitter who claimed to have heard “pedo guy” used that way.

But, it definitely wasn’t as common as Elon thought it was.

Elon Also Tried To Prove Vernon Was Actually A Pedo

Image: Reddit (r/dankmemes)

In case apologising and claiming it was simply a slang doesn’t work, you can also use money (if you have lots of it like Elon), to try to prove that anything you say is true.

So Elon hired an investigator to check if Vernon was actually a paedophile.

This seemed to go well at the start, since the private investigator that he hired, James Howard-Higgins, found out that Vernon was a child rapist who married a 12-year-old child bride, according to BuzzFeed News.

He even used that investigation to send an email to BuzzFeed News, which contained the following lines:

“I suggest that you call people you know in Thailand, find out what’s actually going on and stop defending child rapists, you f***ing asshole.”

“He’s an old, single white guy from England who’s been traveling to or living in Thailand for 30 to 40 years, mostly Pattaya Beach, until moving to Chiang Rai for a child bride who was about 12 years old at the time.”

…Which Turned Out To Be A Bad Idea

Howard-Higgins was paid US$50,000 to do the investigation, which is, of course, chump change for a billionaire.

But the problem wasn’t so much the money or anything. It’s that Howard-Higgings was a convicted felon and a scammer who had previously stolen money from his business partners and been sentenced to three years in prison.

“I’m a f***king idiot”

Image: Me.me

Elon told The Guardian that emailing the BuzzFeed reporter was “one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done,” and he also said “I’m a fucking idiot.”

We don’t really know what will happen next, because the trial for the case between Elon and Vernon is happening on Dec 2 2019.

Maybe take a break from your 80 hour workweek by playing a video game instead of playing around with Twitter, Elon.

Watch this for a complete summary of what REALLY happened to Qoo10, and why it's like a K-drama:

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Victor Fong
Email: [email protected]