Person Went to Chinese Wedding Dinner Without Giving Angbao; Bride Contacted Friend Shortly After

By
Winnie Su
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Bride Queries Guest Over Missing Angbao After Costly Singapore Wedding

Singapore, once again, has been ranked as the most expensive city to live in, sharing the top spot with Zurich this year, according to the Economist Intelligence Unit.

Among the various escalating costs, one infrequent yet significant expense we often overlook is the Angbao rate required when attending wedding banquets.

With the escalating costs of wedding banquets, it’s only logical that the amount of Angbao money given also increases.

Earlier last month, reports indicated that wedding banquet prices are expected to surge by 10 to 20% next year.

This comes after a 10% hike observed last year in 2022.

So, what’s driving these increases?

Primarily, it’s due to rising manpower and food costs, not to mention utility expenses such as electricity, maintenance, and other facility-related costs.

This trend has led some guests to shy away from giving the market-rate Angbaos.

Instead, they choose an amount that reflects their closeness to the bride and groom, as well as their own financial position and comfort level in giving.

But what happens when, after considering your closeness to the couple and your financial capabilities, you conclude that the only Angbao you can afford is an empty one?

This exact scenario unfolded for an anonymous wedding invitee who shared their quandary on Reddit, seeking advice on handling the situation of being unable to afford an Angbao.

Remarkably, not only did they end up not giving an Angbao, but the bride also reached out to request one in the most humble manner imaginable.

A Glimpse into the Dilemma

At an unnamed five-star hotel, they attended a friend’s wedding banquet where the cost per meal was around $250. The invitee had a closer relationship with the couple during their school days, but not as much anymore.

The reason for not giving an Angbao was straightforward and quite sad—they simply didn’t have the funds.

In their now-deleted Reddit post, they mentioned living “paycheck to paycheck,” with finances being exceptionally tight.

Somehow, they managed to leave the banquet without contributing to the meal cost.

However, just when they thought the matter was settled, the bride sent them a text a few days later.

The message was worded politely and conveyed genuine surprise at not finding their Angbao, considering all others were accounted for.

After settling their bills, the invitee could only afford to spare a maximum of S$50 for an Angbao—a sum significantly lower than the actual cost of the meal, which was at least five times more.

Singapore Brides reports that the latest wedding Angbao rates for 2023, inclusive of Goods and Services Tax (GST), start well beyond $200 for hotel events.

Even for Chinese zi char restaurants, the starting Angbao rate is $100, with variations for lunch and dinner, and differences based on whether the wedding is on a weekday, Friday, or the weekend.

For example, a banquet at Marguerite in the Flower Dome of Gardens by the Bay commands a market-rate Angbao of at least $480, soaring up to $840.

You: Better check if any friends are getting married soon.

Remember, these are the rates for 2023, and as mentioned earlier, they are projected to increase by 10 to 20%.

Additionally, the post revealed the bride’s reputed focus on money, limiting the options available to the invitee.

Advice from Fellow Redditors

Here’s a summary of the responses from Redditors to the now-deleted post, which was published just three days ago:

  1. Honesty is the best policy (possibly even asking about paying the Angbao in installments)

Many Redditors believe that being upfront about the financial situation might be the best way to maintain good relations with the bride while showing sincerity.

This approach might have been better from the start, especially given the bride’s reputed focus on money matters.

However, some criticised this idea as shameless, especially considering the invitee’s recent trip to Japan, which suggested they had the financial means but chose not to prioritize the Angbao.

2. Decline future invitations

Some sided with the bride, noting that it’s a social norm to give Angbaos at weddings, not just as a form of congratulations, but also to help offset the significant costs of hosting a wedding banquet.

The ongoing discussion leaves room for various perspectives, but at least the situation is not as awkward as an uninvited stranger crashing a wedding.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

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Winnie Su
Email: [email protected]