Last Updated on 2019-01-12 , 4:27 pm
Year after year, I’ve had the same New Year Resolution.
To make it big.
Now, do not be mistaken; I’m not talking about my nether regions. Instead, I’m talking about making money.
Lots of money.
Unfortunately, I didn’t quite have the best start to 2019, seeing how I failed to clinch the New Year lottery of $9.7m…
(If I didn’t know better I would’ve thought my colleague won it. Uncanny resemblance)
Disclaimer: Our colleague’s image was anyhowly used by theindependent.sg (it was for a video we did previously), and we have requested the website to take it down. Obviously he didn’t win anything–not even $9.70, according to him.
But hey, no sweat because millions of others didn’t win either. There’s still a chance.
And so, I’m staking everything, all my luck, fortune, valiance and utmost perseverance on this one venture that will make it or break it. Lest you’re wondering, I’m talking, of course, about…
Banking in money at the most auspicious hours.
That’s right; if done correctly, I’ll be rolling in the riches. Work? Hah, what’s that?
Boss: Fat hope you son of a beautiful woman. Now concentrate on your work instead of jacking off all day ****
Meh, spoilsport… but yeah, let’s move on to the actual headline:
Here Are The Most Auspicious Hours To Bank In Your Money This Li Chun, According To Your Zodiac Sign
You strike, I strike, everyone strikes
Before I start, however, let me just preach about Li Chun a little bit. Not because it holds special significance to me, but because I need to fill up my word count. Don’t tell my boss I said that.
Anyway, Li Chun was traditionally celebrated as an important day for farmers in China, as they had a tendency to pray for a good harvest with spring’s arrival.
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But like everything else, the change of times have brought in a new significance to the event. With agriculture on the decline nowadays, and people opting to raise pigs on their phones instead, the event doesn’t hold as much meaning in the present. And so, the tradition has effectively digivolved to represent the in thing nowadays:
Making deposits at a bank account, in order to enjoy bountiful wealth in the coming year.
But what’s the most auspicious hour? Fengshui master Wo Pian Ni asked. Surely there’s a fanciful time for everyone?
I don’t know, Master Wo, said Fengshui master Xiang Xing Wo. But according to Mothership, there’s a pretty interesting chart.
Oooo, show me the jewels, Master Xiang.
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Sure thing Master Wo!
Wo yao da shi ge, said Wing-chun Master Ip Man.
The Chart That Will Make You Rich
If you’re the die die must get things right kind, this chart will surely be up your alley. Chronicling the best timings for every single zodiac animal, please thank us when you huat this year.
Date of Li Chun: 4 February 2019 (Yes, that’s the eve of CNY)
Rat: 3:00 p.m. to 4:59 p.m.
Ox: 5:00 p.m. to 6:59 p.m.
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Tiger: 11:14 a.m. to 12:59 p.m. or 7:00 p.m. to 8:59 p.m.
Rabbit: 1:00 p.m. to 2:59 p.m. or 7:00 p.m. to 8:59 p.m.
Dragon: 1:00 p.m. to 6:59 p.m.
Snake: 3:00 p.m. to 6:59 p.m.
Horse: 1:00 p.m. to 2:59 p.m. or 7:00 p.m. to 8:59 p.m.
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Sheep: 11:14 a.m. to 12:59 p.m. or 3:00 p.m. to 4:59 p.m.
Monkey: 11:14 a.m. to 12:59 p.m.
Rooster: 11:14 a.m. to 12:59 p.m.
Dog: 11:14 a.m. to 12:59 p.m.
Pig: 1:00 p.m. to 2:59 p.m.
Or you can find your cute zodiac here:
Well, it looks like my lucky time slot’s from 1 – 3 p.m.
Time to make some notes on my mental calender, eh?
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So what’re you waiting for?
If you’re insistent on following every lucky trend out there in order to have a truly fruitful 2019, this one’s for you. So mark down your hour…
Because it’s time to roll in the prosperity of it all.
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