Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:42 pm
Are you the type who loves to win every single argument against someone else, your partner included? If so, you might have offended a lot of people and your bae may have waged cold wars with you more than half the time you are together. Winning arguments requires strategy, and the lawyer Jonathan Herring sure knows this.
He has even written a book called How To Argue, in which he teaches readers how to emerge triumphant in every argument.
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Before quarrelling with your bae, it’s important to fully consider what point you want to make, and what you want to get out of it. He says that “This may sound obvious. But it’s critically important.” You have to consider how strong or weak your points are.
The timing and location of your quarrel also matters. “Is this the time; is this the place?”
After all, you don’t want to force your partner into admitting defeat in front of her parents. That probably isn’t the best way to make a good impression on your potential in-laws. By the end of it, you might have won a petty quarrel but lost a precious loved one.
Many people also lose arguments because they are too focused on their own points of view and ignore what the other person is trying to say. To win an argument, Jonathan says you should let the other person do 75% of the talking and listen carefully. “If you listen intently you’ll be able to beat their line of argument more easily.”
Jonathan’s final tip is to try and stay friends with your partner despite the conflict. Remember and focus on what you want from the quarrel. “If you want to embarrass or humiliate them then it’s eventually going to be bad for your relationship.”
Although you are prepared and equipped with your points, you should also always have a Plan B (B for back out) just in case. Having a “preformed solution” can help you to end uncomfortable arguments and get what you want. So if things are getting just a little bit too serious for your liking (i.e. you are on the verge of a breakup), then put on a smile and put your Plan B into action, or you will end up having no one to quarrel with for the rest of your life.
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