Impossible Foods Creates Pork & Pork Sausage Made of Soy; Allegedly Tastes Real

Would you eat an Impossible penis?

That is the question my editor posed while handing me this topic. It’s wrong on so many levels, but the truth is that it’s really just plants.

This dilemma as a person with no diet restriction is how I imagine how Halal eaters would feel about Impossible Pork.

You’re technically eating plants… but are you?

If Impossible came up with the Impossible Penis and I eat it, is this morally wrong? How do even I even know this tastes like dick if I haven’t had it before?

Image: Giphy

But before you ponder about eating dick Muslims eating halal pork, I’m sure you’re interested in what Impossible Pork really looks like.

It Looks Just Like Minced Pork

Like the Impossible Burger, Impossible Pork is made from plants, or more specifically, Soy as the main protein, sunflower oil, coconut oil as major fat sources, amino acids, vitamins and sugars, and heme.

Image: Impossible Foods

Here’s what it looks like when used in a recipe:

Image: Impossible Foods

To nobody’s surprise, especially those who have tried the Impossible Burger already, it looks just like the real deal.

Image: Impossible Foods

This means that the next time you’re eating a Xiao Long Bao buffet, you don’t have to worry about killing pigs with each additional basket.

Avoid watching the movie Babe before XLB buffet. / Image: Giphy

And look at this beautiful Banh Mi:

Image: Impossible Foods

You can view Impossible’s video here:

Impossible Pork will be sold in restaurants first.

Yes, It Can Be Halal

Impossible Foods chose to tackle pork as their 2nd protein because it’s the most consumed animal protein in the world. And it makes a lot of sense too; swine flu was a huge problem in China and will end up killing 1/6 of the world’s pig populations.

Pork is also similar to beef in texture, so it will be easier to create than say, Impossible Chicken. There are also advantages over real pork: there’s a lower risk of undercooking, less than half the fat, and zero cholesterol and gluten.

Though, the sodium content seems to be very high at 420mg compared to 80mg of regular pork.

Image: Cnet

In a Forbes article, it is mentioned that Impossible Foods “designed it to qualify for kosher and halal meals”, so the ‘meat’ is halal, even though it doesn’t seem like they have the certification yet.

What About The Taste?

Here’s the thing: most people who tried Impossible Pork tried it in sandwiches, dumplings and dan dan noodles. Which is what minced pork is usually used for, but it doesn’t tell much about the taste without heavy seasoning.

And to be fair, real minced pork is generally pretty bland.

Though, the general consensus seems to be that it is like real minced pork in cooking.

One Muslim writer at SFGate actually tried Impossible Pork… and as I suspected, I don’t think Muslims will quite enjoy this new product even if it is technically halal.


As the writer, Abrar Al-Heeti, puts it: “Whatever the consensus on the permissibility of Impossible Pork, one thing’s for certain: My brain, and my stomach, had a hard time processing. About 15 minutes after sampling the product, I felt slightly queasy, so much so that I wasn’t able to eat a proper meal until several hours later.”

In other words, it’s the same reaction I would have if I ate an Impossible Penis.

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