Man: Will you marry me?
Woman: YES! Oh my god, yes!
*puts on ring*
Woman: Wow, this looks… different. Where’d you get it from?
Man: Oh, my fingernails.
Woman: Your… fingernails? What do you mean?
Man: Well, I created a diamond for you using only my fingernail clippings.
Man: I even collected all my nail clippings for a year just for you, baby.
Man: You see, I blended them all up and mixed them wi-
Woman: I think I want a divorce
Japanese Man Uses His Nail Clippings To Create A ‘Diamond’ For His Engagement Ring
The headline might be ludicrous, but the story’s absolutely true.
One man in Japan recently created a ‘diamond’ studded engagement ring using his nail clippings.
If you’re feeling an intense mixture of amazement and disgust, let me welcome you to Goody Feed; this must be your first time. You’ll get used to it.
You probably also have many questions on your mind:
- How did he do it?
- Why the hell did he do it?
- Why are you telling me this?
Unfortunately, dear reader, I only have an answer to Question 1:
The Japanese man filmed the whole process of creating the ‘diamond’ for his unique engagement ring.
So, if you’re curious as to how he did it, here’s the video:
Now, I will turn into one of those cook show hosts on TV, except instead of making cakes and gourmet dishes, I’ll be showing you how to create a diamond from nail clippings, based on this man’s example:
Step 1 – Collect your nail clippings
Now, this is a long and disgusting step, but it’s necessary. Start clipping your nails regularly but instead of disposing of them like a profligate, collect them in a bowl.
This step may lead to the loss of your girlfriend, friends, or even family members, but hey, it’s all in the name of love.
Step 2 – Blend and mix with water
Then, blend the year’s supply of nails in a blender for 30 seconds until it becomes little bits.
Then use your coffee grinder to grind them into powder. (You might want to burn your coffee grinder after this and purchase a new one).
Then mix it with water until it clumps together.
Step 3 – Compress the mixture and bake in the oven
Then take the repulsive clump and compress it using a nut and bolt.
Then bake it in the oven at 150°C for 90 minutes.
Step 4 – Buff after baking
Once the nail-diamond has been baked, take it out and buff it – which is like polishing – until it’s nice and shiny. If you have a custom mould like this Japanese man, you can even shape it afterwards.
Then, voila! You have a beautiful diamond made from your own fingernails:
Step 5 (optional) – Question your existence and ask yourself what the hell you’re doing with your life
Ask yourself what went wrong in life that led to you making a diamond from your own fingernails.
Now, I know you’re impressed and repulsed at this man’s innovative diamond-making techniques, but what if I told you that the ring is also made of his fingernails?
For the preparation of the ring, the man repeated the same process, then drilled several holes and added a silver coat onto it.
Then, all that’s left to do is the place the gross diamond onto the gross ring.
Now, I have to say, the finished product looks magnificent. I’d marry someone who proposed to me with this ring, as long as they didn’t tell me how they made it.
Aren’t you glad you clicked on this article, dear reader? Now you don’t have to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to get an engagement ring. You just need to have fingernails.
Come back next week and I’ll teach you how to make a table from dogshit.
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