KFC New Cheesy Wrap: An Eggy Breakfast That Isn’t Worth the Calories

By
George Yang
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Two days ago, we published an article about the new KFC Cheesy Chicken Ham Twister. To me, it looks normal but it turns out that many readers were enticed by its looks.

Seeing that our boss has conveniently left his credit card on his desk again (that jerk always go for coffee breaks), we took his card and conveniently ordered breakfast for us, since we’re so underpaid and overworked.

And let’s just say that we regretted it. Kind of.

What It Is

Okay, so here’s what you’ll be greeted with when you check out KFC Facebook Page.

Look at that. It’ll make all egg lovers eggcited and cheese lovers cheese-cited. It looks so perfect, I’m thinking of breaking up with McDonald’s breakfast wrap and make this my new love.

But hey.

Food always look good on advertisements, just like how influencers always look good on Instagram. So how does this wrap look in real life?

OMG.

I’m sorry, but that’s literally the first thing that comes to my mind.

I was expecting to see the egg flowing out, the ham seducing me with its calories and the cheese melting like some yellow lava. But nope, everything is wrapped nicely and neatly, as if we’ve just ordered a popiah that has a Gold in IPPT.

But I’m not giving up hope. A wise man once said this: a food can look like shit, smell like shit and feel like shit, but as long as it tastes good, it’s a gem. That wise man is called Mr Durian and I fully agree with him.

So I took a bite…

…and I unfriended Mr Durian immediately.

Taste Test

KFC is absolutely correct: the scrambled eggs are fluffy, the chicken ham is juicy and the cheese is…erm, creamy.

Everything is on point, except for one thing: the number of eggs is just too damn high.

The first bite reminds me of days when I was a kid, crying for everything eggs. The second bite reminds me of eggs. The third eggs. The fourth eggs. Up till the eight bite and it’s all eggs. By the time I’ve down the entire popiah, I somehow thought that my name is Eggs.

There’s a slice of ham in it and some cheese, but with a million eggs in a wrap, the ham and cheese are like needles in a haystack. I’ve nothing against eggs, but when every bite is so eggy, I’ll rather just buy scrambled eggs.

Egg lovers might love it, but here’s the thing: I’m an egg lover. I breathe, drink and eat eggs. And yet I feel jaded by it.

The number of times I mentioned eggs is so high, this article is a reflection of the wrap: eggs.

I’ve yet to call my BFF The Rock, but if I do, I think he’ll also agree that he doesn’t need so many eggs for his daily protein intake.

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But We Discovered a Hidden Gem

There’s a minimum order for Foodpanda, so we had to get something else. Given that we know how awesome KFC porridge is, my colleague had to sabo me by ordering something he hasn’t seen or tried before: the Riser burger.

According to its description online, it’s a “Signature Original Recipe chicken fillet topped with a fresh whole egg and a slice of cheese packed between a soft wholemeal bun.”

Sounds normal…until I tried it.

And it won me over.

I know reviewing an old burger is like drinking expired detergent and complaining about it online, but just hear (read) me out.

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Back in 1819, when I was still a kid, KFC Singapore used to have what was called the Colonel Burger. It used to be my favourite as a kid: it’s cheap, it’s filling and it tastes heavenly.

In my mind, with all those fancy burgers and boxes coming in every now and then, I’ve totally forgotten about this burger that could well be responsible for my failed NAPFA tests. In fact, I thought it’s no longer in the menu (I just checked: it’s still there).

The Riser burger is essentially the Colonel Burger with an egg. Remember: me = egg-lover. Eggifing a favourite burger is a dream come true.

And how does it taste, you ask. Let’s just say that it’s salty, dry and hard, and yet fulfils the very basics of a burger (which is…memories).

If you grow up just like me, the Riser burger is for you.

If not, then good for you: you’re a young fellow.

But if I were to suggest, I’d say go for the Riser instead of the Cheesy Chicken Ham Twister.

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George Yang
Email: [email protected]