Law Student Eloped with Abusive Man Who Threatens to End Her Life

No matter how smart you are, you can fall into toxic relationships.

For those who are in toxic relationships, and wondering what to do, this next story we’re going to talk about might just give you the courage to move on.

Law Student Eloped with Abusive Man Who Threatens to End Her Life

She was a law student in university with limitless potential in her future.

Then, she met a bartender and fell in love with him.

Admitting that she’s always had a thing for bad boys, the relationship was passionate and exciting.

It was also filled with “dramatic low points”.

However, she chose to ignore the warning signs and at the age of 21, she eloped with the man.

She was the one to propose to him and, just a few months later, they got married.

Escaping Into Another Cage

Marriage wasn’t what she expected.

Just before she married the man, she converted to Islam.

Shortly after their marriage, the man started issuing demands.

She was instructed to attend religious classes which, to her, “wasn’t part of the deal”.

He also insisted that she wears a tudung.

In the early years of her marriage, she held on because of pride.

After all, she’s run away and sacrificed a lot to be with him.

“Good Days & Bad Days”

The next five years were rocky.

Two months after they got married, the girl got pregnant with her first daughter.

She gave him a boy and a girl after.

Quarrels would get so bad that “knives” would be taken out, and once, he used a hammer on her phone.

The husband was suspicious and often accused her of going out with her “boyfriends”, and wherever she went, she had to ask him for permission.

Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms and the husband’s abuse was insidious and cruel.

He kept on calling her “stupid” until she began to believe that she was stupid.

He also gave her trust issues after he used things she told him in confidence against her in arguments.

In the early morning hours, he would drag her out of bed and question her despite her having to work the next day.

Exploitation

The woman was the sole breadwinner of the family.

Her husband was a struggling musician who expected her to pay for stuff.

When he was based in Kuala Lumpur for a while, he insisted on having her buy a car for him and made a mess of things at home when she refused.

In the end, she got him a secondhand car.

The Final Straw

In a stroke of irony, it was actually the husband who cheated on her.

She’d hear things or have people coming to the door to warn her husband away from their daughters.

However, every time it happened, she’ll believe his excuses because she did not want to “rock the boat”.

In 2013, however, that was the only time the husband resorted to physical abuse.

He hit her while they were in KL and told her that he can kill her and “nobody would know”.

By then, she had been manipulated into isolating herself from friends and families, and she had no one else to turn to.

The final straw, however, was when her husband turned her “satanic” overnight.

He locked her out of her Facebook account and edited her profile.

He placed satanic symbols onto her profile picture and uploaded “devil pictures”. He also accessed her LinkedIn account and made a mess.

Thankfully, her bosses and colleagues were understanding.

When she approached religious counsellors, all of them told her to “get out”.

None of them told her to “save the marriage”.

That was when she knew she had to remove herself from the toxic relationship.

Her Childhood

She shared that her view on relationships could’ve been skewed by her childhood.

At 30 years old, she found out that she was adopted.

Her adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old and when she went to university, her father cut her off from his life.

Because of her early life experience, she reasoned that she craved the attention of men who wouldn’t give it freely, and she had to “work for it”.

However, she’s since changed her mindset and believes that you can empower yourself if you switch your perspective.

Don’t Be Afraid To Reach Out For Help

One lesson that she has learnt from her failed relationship and her lost youth is that you should not be afraid to reach out for help.

“For women going through this, you need someone to support you, you don’t need to do it alone. Whether it’s professional support or someone in the family, you must be willing to trust.”

If she could turn back time, she said, she would stand up to her ex-husband sooner and “loved herself enough to walk away”.

The woman is now happily remarried to a long-time friend from church and has a close relationship with her three children.

Feature Image: Doidam 10 / Shutterstock.com