Do you know of those articles for awkward people to learn how to socialise?
It’s the ones that advice clueless loners on how to smile, look and talk to strangers.
I’ll be ripping off summarising one of those articles today, and cutting out some points too, so for the full, original article you can find the link below.
But before we continue, a little premise and explanation of the title:
We’re all socially stunted because technology (dating apps, social media) is a comfort zone we refuse to leave.
So Tracy Cox, alleged “sexpert”, is here to reteach people how to connect with new people in “unexpected places” which is basically just everywhere in real life, except:
- That’s not a catchy title
- Advice for socialising “everywhere” would undoubtedly be too vague and that leads to undesirable consequences.
So here are some place-specific instructions.
Supermarket
Putting it first to address the title.
Merits:
You can size someone up more easily when they have a basket or trolley full of goods; see if they’re buying responsible family items or piles of chips and other junk food to gauge their relationship status, and if nothing else, food/drink/detergent preferences.
Methods:
- Reach for the same item. It usually happens accidentally and then the two people are like wow this is so cool let’s be friends, but I guess you can be a sneaky little shit and do it accidentally on purpose, just because you want a shot at the pretty girl at the Noodles and Instant Noodles aisle.
- Possible conversation starters (according to the website): ‘I don’t suppose you’ve seen any baked beans in your travels?’ ‘I’m a useless cook. Do you think this is the right ingredient for a curry?’
The Gym
(That’s probably the wrong kind of gym, but it’s the right one for me.)
Merits:
People are dressed to show more skin because they’re working out, and you can see muscles and toned bodies everywhere.
There’s also the chemical/biological aspect where natural attractants like pheromones are present in perspiration, and everyone is high on adrenaline and endorphins
Methods:
Possible conversation starters: Compliment on their feats eg ‘That’s impressive’ when they’re lifting weights.
MRT
(Or the tube as they call it in the country the original article was written in)
Merits:
Supposedly, catching the same train daily means you start to see familiar faces, which breeds affection.
I don’t know about this though, I take the same train every morning to my office where I write about taking the train every morning but I don’t see the same people. It could be because I’m always sleeping though.
Methods:
Grow a pair and talk to them in the train, or follow them out of the station and tap them on the shoulder if you prefer something more discreet.
Possible conversation starters: ‘Hi. I hope this isn’t creepy but do you want to get a coffee sometime? I can’t believe I’m doing this but you look really nice’. (yeah, memorise that word for word and tell us if it works)
GrabShare
Or UberPool if you’re in a country where that’s common
Merits:
If you’re alone and they’re alone, you all might be single, plus you all might live around each other. And being together in a car for a while is a good excuse to make small talk.
Methods:
Possible conversation starters: If you’re alighting first, ‘So I’m meeting friends here for drinks. It’s great. Why don’t you come down and join us later?’
Conclusion
Are these really unexpected? Not really, just typical everyday places.
So the moral of the story here is you can meet people in real life if you just up your game, which you can do by checking out the original article.
There are a ton of other places features like parks and theme parks as well as general advice on how to act normal.
In other words, don’t be a creep.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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