Admittedly, I’m not a very tolerant person. I get annoyed pretty easily, whether it’s mosquitoes, obnoxious individuals or my own folly (which I’m pretty sure annoys others too so it’s like double the whammy).
I’m also very annoyed at that Goody Feed’s “Read the full article in our free app…”
Damn you Goody Feed.
Yet, even so, none comes close to my pet peeve of all time:
Identifying my luggage out of everyone else’s.
Now, do not mistake that for a lack of effort on my part. I’ve tried everything, from ludicrously colourful luggage to tags that say ‘Onii-chan’ or ‘Oppa’.
But as you might’ve expected, it was to no avail, because apparently everyone’s thinking the same thing and as a result you get a lot more oppas than you really asked for.
But just as I was about to give up entirely, I saw this:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, those are honest to goodness luggage tags. And in case you’re doubting your Chinese prowess, you didn’t read it wrong: the tags read, from left to right, ‘Cao Ni Ma’, ‘Wang Ba Dan’ and ‘Ta Ma De’, which can be loosely translated to ‘**** your mum’, ‘bastard’ and ‘**** his mum’.
Now if this doesn’t solve my luggage identification issues, nothing would.
Design
If you find the design familiar, it’s probably cos you’re thinking of these guys.
And indeed, the yellow talismans are normally pasted on zombies’ foreheads in movies, in the process inhibiting them from moving (and also biting your head off).
Nowadays, zombies have become more handsome, but anyways.
It seems that like everything else, the purpose of the tags has also shifted. For why else would Singapore brand FLABSLAB decide that they would be the perfect ‘charms’ for your luggage?
(Wah why the caption so angry seh)
Though if you think about it; something that keeps even thirsty Chinese zombies away should technically be a good warning sign to scare off any potential thieves. And the fact that they’re imprinted with all sorts of vulgar terms involving peoples’ mums?
Classic (not to be confused with classy).
So what’re you waiting for?
Prepare your wallets, because the talismans are all set to launch early next year!
And judging from the interest in the tags, I’ve a feeling that stocks might not be there for long.
(Though if you noticed, FLABSLAB actually expressed that there might be a ‘Cao Ji Bai’ version… super, super white? We’re more than ready for that white, white cheese pie!)
So prep your cash, bank balance and zombies…
Because your luggage is gonna get a whole lot more… badass.
Incidentally, FLABSLAB also sells other artworks, such as enamel pins, sculptures, action figures and resin toys. You can check out their works on their Instagram page.
If you watch at least 10 minutes of brain rot content daily, you must know this:
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