Usually for crimes, the more an offence is repeated, the scarier the criminal appears to be. Except for underwear thieves, where somehow, them repeating the crime makes them appear smaller and more disgusting.
Unless, of course, the underwear thief happens to be a cat.
Underwear thief caught on 15 May 2019
On the morning of 15 May 2019, a 45-year-old woman who lives along Balam road found that three pairs of panties and one brassiere were missing. Those were hung to dry, along with her other laundry, along the common corridor the previous day’s evening.
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In total, the four pieces were worth S$100. She lodged a police report.
The next day, looking through CCTV footage, the police identified a male suspect loitering in the housing estate along Balam Road at daybreak of 15 May. As he saw the underwear, he decided to steal them.
The police have only one thing to do with that information then… a raid.
A panty raid.
A raid was conducted at his flat, having identified the male as Ahkubal Hussian, a 61-year-old Singaporean.
But when a raid is conducted at his flat, they found not just the pair of panties…
They found 120 brassieres and 37 pairs of panties.
He was later sentenced to three months’ jail for admitting to one count of theft and one count of fraudulent possession of property on 19 July. He could have been jailed up to three years, or fine, or both for theft.
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Only one pair of panties were recovered from him.
But uh… will people even want those panties back?
How much are those worth?
Fetish (like a certain bathwater) cost aside, I decided to calculate the cost of what he stole because I needed to fulfil word quota wanted to understand what victims are going through.
Based on browsing random forums, underwear for women can cost from S$10 to S$200 or more.
But around S$50 is where the quality gets a sharp increase for the best price: quality ratio.
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Which means that, assuming S$50 each piece, that’s 157 X 50 = S$7,850 worth of underwear without considering fetish value.
When put into that context, suddenly that sounds a lot more severe.
Highest record (?) for panties stealing seems to be over 4,000
But that’s not all I’m going into this panty research. Why not go one step further and see what’s the most someone ever stole?
Turns out… it’s a staggering number at over 4,000. At S$50 per piece that’s S$200,000.
That “record” is held by Shigeo Kodama, a 54-year-old construction worker who accumulated 3,977 panties, 355 bras and 10 pairs of stockings over a six-year period.
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And in Japan, underwear theft is taken very seriously. Police will even ask about the brand, colour, type, and size of your underwear with reports on it.
Underwear is expensive and a necessity as long as you value your genitals and private areas, so perhaps they should be taken more seriously.
I mean, I lose my shit when someone eats my kinder bueno, so a blue Yusof bin Ishak should be worth losing a lot more shit over right?
Here’s what NCMPs are, and what to expect after GE2025:
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