We all have that one friend. That dude/gal who can envision the dirtiest things… with the most innocent premises.
“Hey look at that little snail gambolling about the bench!” you utter, half-mortified, half-intrigued.
Your friend shoots you a smirk.
“If it doesn’t watch its step, it’s gonna slip into one of those little holes and become real… wet.”
Yeah, that dirty-minded friend whose mind boggles you every time. Incidentally, I’m that friend, but let’s not tell my mum about it, shall we?
But anyway, you get the idea. Dirty-minded people have a gift for the… dirty-natural. And even with the purest of intentions, you can still somehow conjure up an R21 image.
Like these folks over in Japan, who ‘exposed’ McDonald’s Japan’s latest ‘Blowjob’ gimmick.
【悲報】マクドナルドさん、とんでもないプラスチックカップを作ってしまう [977261419]https://t.co/QgSRVfarVF
マックフィズのカップ面白いねw
誰が考えたんだろ(´・ω・`) pic.twitter.com/TORtVCEYuO— まお (@mao_kila) July 29, 2019
McDonald’s Japan Accidentally Created ‘Blowjob’ Cup For Soft Drinks Promotion
It all started out pretty chaste.
According to Soranews24, McDonald’s Japan decided to add a little warm-weather romance to its line of McFizz soft drinks, and the results were decent, to say the least.
別バージョンのマックフィズぅ pic.twitter.com/wuZQLxB3MX
— Marco (@forute_a) July 28, 2019
Featuring clear cups decorated with various pictures of a guy and a girl on opposite sides, you can rotate the drinking vessels around to have the young sweethearts ‘plant’ a sweet kiss on each other.
Like this.
Pretty slick, huh? You can view the original commercial for the drinks here:
Mind in the gutter
Sure, the idea is (was) definitely innocent enough. But here’s the thing; when released, McDonald’s was probably planning on people looking at the cups from a more-or-less perpendicular angle.
This one.
But what if, theoretically speaking, a dirty-minded dude/gal turns the cup around and chooses to view it at a more ‘obscene’ angle?
Well, you get the headline. And this.
【悲報】マクドナルドさん、とんでもないプラスチックカップを作ってしまう [977261419]https://t.co/QgSRVfarVF
マックフィズのカップ面白いねw
誰が考えたんだろ(´・ω・`) pic.twitter.com/TORtVCEYuO— まお (@mao_kila) July 29, 2019
And since the world’s all about equality nowadays… it’s only ‘normal’ that the favour’s returned.
マックフィズ クンニ/フェラの遊び俺もやってきた pic.twitter.com/Ok6cLvnHC7
— ちょこれーしょん (@_chocolation_) July 25, 2019
And if you view it from above, you can either see the dude copping a feel…
マックフィズ美味しいよね
#マック pic.twitter.com/PWUa82Whdh— _N.Koki (@imL0418NK) July 30, 2019
Or going all out.
#マックフィズ pic.twitter.com/SpsGfDEk9Y
— マニュコラ練習なうな古見さんすこすこゲンガル👾 (@gengal_bad89) July 26, 2019
With a voyeuristic wink, no less.
マックフィズがやらかしてる件について
#マックフィズ pic.twitter.com/ra3D2xeUcD— ひかる@wimper (@6AXkWMqMZgKgCjU) July 25, 2019
What a cheeky notion, really.
Meanwhile, if you fancy yourself as an avid fan of guy-on-guy action…
You’ve got it too.
Well, I guess that’s enough Internet for today.
But no wait… that’s still not the end
Because if you tilt the cup at a particular angle, you’ll actually get a lolicon-hater’s worst nightmare:
This.
マックに隠されたおねショタとロリコン
お姉さん手の位置がアウトですよ🙅🏻♀️
お兄さんそれは犯罪ですよ👮🏻♂️#マックフィズ#ひと夏のおねショタ pic.twitter.com/UOq3ulxqSj— きんとき (@ew_butterfly) July 23, 2019
Bringing the notion of ‘Happy Meal’ to a whole new level, I would say…
Wew, McDonald’s, I never knew you had that in you.
And so… what’re you waiting for?
So far, it seems that McDonald’s has yet to pull out of the decorative cup promotion, so you can actually get it if you’re in Japan right now, or have a loyal friend holidaying there to get it for you.
But to be honest, I don’t quite see the fast-food chain pulling it off the shelves over this whole ‘commotion’. After all, life’s really how you perceive it. And unless your mind’s in the gutter like mine…
The picture should be a wholesome, beautiful one.
If you watch at least 10 minutes of brain rot content daily, you must know this:
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