Men With ‘Big Bellies’ Can Join A Pageant In Sabah & Win Cash Prizes

For the longest time, my friend Von Dijl the Second has faced the harshest verbal criticism, for nothing other than his ever-expanding waistline.

“Oi Von Dijl, if you take another step you’re gonna bury the entire Singapore in rubber.”

“Shouldn’t you lose some weight? You’re taking up two spaces!”

“Three!”

“Four!”

“One, two, three, four, hi-5!” they clap as they revel in Von Dijl’s utmost misery.

“Sorry…” my friend could only utter in response, as he trudged out the backdoor with hunched shoulders.

It’s how society works, and he has long since accepted it as part and parcel of his life.

Bump. Without knowing it, Von Dijl the Second crashed into someone sprinting from the other side.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he mumbled, subconsciously expecting another yo-so-fat joke. “Are you alright?”

“That force, that vigour, you must be Von Dijl the Second!” the stranger almost yelled.

My friend didn’t know how to react, and so he merely nodded meekly without a word.

“Well, my friend, I’m talent scouting you.”

Von Dijl the Second didn’t know how to react, and so the stranger held up a large ass banner to his face.

“You’re going to be the champion,” the bearded stranger says proudly. “For certain.”

Perplexed, Von Dijl the Second looked at it.

“Is this another fat joke…?” he wondered.

Men With ‘Big Bellies’ Can Join A Pageant In Sabah & Win Cash Prizes

Forget all your routine beauty pageants. Forget all your Greek God bodybuilding contests. There’s something new in town, and it’s big.

Literally.

According to TODAYonline, a rather ‘peculiar’ contest will be held at the Beaufort Sports Complex in Sabah, this coming 1 December 2019. And lest you’ve yet to latch on to what it’s all about…

It’s a competition to gauge who has the largest waistline.

Indeed, the competition’s open to all men aged 30 years and above, and the idea behind it was apparently to celebrate men… with bellies.

“You only have contests that highlight one’s good looks. Why not the body shape?” he asked.

He added that women would be inclined to feel proud too if their partner emerges as victor in the competition. And I can’t say I disagree;

A winner’s a winner, no matter what the circumstances are.

How Does It Work, Exactly?

According to Mr Soo, it’ll be a dressed-up walk, with routine competition judges in tow.

“Contestants will need to dress up and walk on a stage. They will then be judged by a team of judges with feedback from those on the floor to be taken into consideration,” he told Malay Mail.

And while there have been requests to divide the contestants into categories, Mr Soo has shot down the notion, stating that because the competition is being held for the first time, the organisers are unable to predict the number of contestants that will sign up.

“If there is an overwhelming response, we will have several categories next year,” he added.

And So… What Are You Waiting For?

If you’re proud of your size, and ready to flaunt it, there’s really nothing stopping you.

The contest is yours to enter, and yours to win.

And heed this; the contest prizes aren’t too shabby either. According to reports, the champion will walk away with RM400 (~S$133), while the second prize is RM300 (~S$100) and third prize RM200 (~S$66).

There’ll also be six consolation prizes worth RM50 (~S$16.28) each.

So really… what’re you waiting for?

It’s time to be the model you’ve always been born to be. Go rock that dad bod, fellas!!

Note: This article might have been written in a really light-hearted manner, but I wish to highlight that such insults should not be tolerated unless the person’s genuinely fine with it.

After all, there’s a reason why depression and anxiety erupt in human beings. So… help a person, help the world out, alright?