New Minister Had Broken Up With Then GF During NS & Had Impostor Syndrome When He First Became a Minister

Imagine this: You failed in your studies and had to repeat the year while your friends advance to the next level.

Does that mean you’re not going to amount to anything in life?

Not exactly, the Minister of State for Culture, Community and Youth Alvin Tan said.

New Minister Had Broken Up With Then GF During NS & Had Impostor Syndrome When He First Became a Minister

On 6 Feb 2021, Mr Tan revealed his failures in life in a webinar, “Let’s Talk About Failure”.

He shared that he had to repeated the first year of Junior College and did not do well enough to get into a local university.

While serving his national service, his relationship with his then-girlfriend came to an end.

That period, he said, was when he felt “low, very low”.

But thankfully, he had friends who helped him pull through the dark period.

When he just became a minister, he added, he had “imposter syndrome” as well.

Imposter syndrome is when you feel, internally, that you are not as competent as other people view you to be.

To counter that, he sought out more experienced peers for advice.

Recognise that you need help, ask for coaching and build resilience, he advised.

Counselling is Okay

It’s okay to seek counselling, Mr Tan said, adding that he and his wife had gone for counselling to improve their marriage.

He pointed out that it isn’t just “one-shot” or magical thing, and it’s something that you need to constantly work on.

Mr Simon Leow, the co-founder of the Happiness Initiative and part of the online discussion, agrees with Mr Tan’s sentiments and added that you do not need a “problem” to attend counselling sessions.

Sometimes, you can go see a counsellor when you want to “prove the quality of relationships” with others and yourself.

Ms Shilpa Jain, the founder of online counselling platform Talk Your Heart Out and also a panellist says a professional counsellor who is objective will be a great boon to clarifying your thoughts.

“Failure” in S’pore Today

Recognising how hard it is to talk about failures when you’re holding a position like Mr Tan, Psychologist Annabelle Chow said she is “proud” of him.

The topic of failure isn’t talked about much in Singapore, she said.

She hopes that the session will help people in Singapore.

Both to speak out and to lessen the shame of sharing such things.

You can check out the full video here.

Feature Image: Facebook (MoCa – Moulmein-Cairnhill)