It’s official, guys. I’m on a horror streak right now, and I’m not just talking about facing myself in the mirror every morning or seeing my boss every day;
I’m talking about the string of horror movies I’ve chalked up over the last few weeks alone.
Us.
Pet Sematary.
DreadOut.
Yeah, that was kind of a chill run alright.
But it seems that my horror run has only just begun, as I caught yet another horror movie over the weekend.
The only exception? Unlike the flicks I’ve caught over the last few weeks, the film this time around is derived from a rather famous (or is it infamous) horror universe, The Conjuring universe.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for my personal review of…
The Curse of La Llorona, also known as the Weeping Woman.
Okay, just for your info, I didn’t scream like a b*tch. I merely yelped. A manly yelp.
Brief Intro
Too often, we hear parents scolding their children in public, asking them to behave. Should they not behave, something will come and get them.
Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.
Yet, one can’t help but wonder; what exactly is gonna come and get them? For instance, Singapore’s version of a boogeyman would be the auntie with cane, but what about elsewhere, in other parts of the world?
Well, lest you’ve always wondered that… wonder no more for The Curse of La Llorona serves to prey on a parent’s worst fears…
By sending a goddamn creepy ass woman to hunt down misbehaving children.
Official synopsis:
In 1970s Los Angeles, the legendary ghost La Llorona is stalking the night — and the children. Ignoring the eerie warning of a troubled mother, a social worker and her own kids are drawn into a frightening supernatural realm. Their only hope of surviving La Llorona’s deadly wrath is a disillusioned priest who practices mysticism to keep evil at bay.
And the trailer is as follows:
Also, to all the review junkies out there… here’s the satisfaction you so desire.
Though I would advise you to take the reviews with a grain of salt, because as Venom fans would surely attest to…
There are universally popular movies, and then there are subjectively popular movies.
Enter my personal review
Similar to last week, I’ll be tweaking my usual objective criteria because really, any good horror film should excel in these three aspects:
- Atmosphere
- Jumpscares
- Scare o’ Meter
As always, do take note that this is my personal take on the movie, so if you disagree with my sentiments please do not pepper my doorstep with rotten eggs.
Also, it has to be mentioned that at the time of the screening, I was sitting right smack in the middle, five rows away from the screen. Yes, folks, I’ve officially gotten addicted to these magical seats; the best seats in my opinion, and also the most vulnerable to any potential scares.
So yeah, please take that extra boost of adrenaline (fear) into mind.
Atmosphere
If you’ve read my previous horror reviews, you would know something:
The atmosphere accounts for the bulk of a horror movie’s ‘abilities’.
I mean; let’s face it. If a horror movie’s atmosphere somehow comes across as chill (in a non-frightening way), relaxed or gawd forbid borderline comedic, it’s hardly going to qualify as the scariest movie ever.
“I walked into the correct theatre… right?” you’ll probably find yourself asking.
Fortunately (or unfortunately), the movie hardly falls short in that category. Emanating creepy vibes almost every second of the movie, The Curse of La Llorona creates a tense, chilling backdrop right from the get-go, and manages to stretch it to the end.
In fact, there was not a point in time when I felt that I could relax. Long story short; you just had a feeling that something was gonna go wrong. Anytime. Heck, even the comedic moments came at a time when you’re like:
“Alright, I laughed. Now I gotta get back to my tense mode again.”
Atmosphere score: 4/5
Jumpscares
In my review for DreadOut, I outright chastised it on its lack of jumpscares, an important element that could’ve served to elevate its score even further.
But where DreadOut fell short, La Llorona did nothing of the sort. In fact, I’m declaring this now;
If you’re in the mood for lots of jump scares, this movie is it.
Filled with jumpscares from start to end, La Llorona even did away with the conventional, predictable ones, incorporating several that can best be described as follows:
“You know it’s coming. You know it. But the jumpscare’s not out yet. You kinda glance to your right and the screen at the same time, hoping to avert the jumpscare once it comes out. Five seconds pass, and it still hasn’t appeared. Pissed, you turn all 100% of your attention back to the screen, only for that accursed ***** to turn up. Yep, that’s La Llorona for you.”
And so with that in mind, yes…
This movie just broke all jumpscare records in recent memory. To me, anyway.
Jumpscare score: 4.5/5
Scare o’ Meter
Let’s face it; a horror movie might possess all the necessary ingredients, but if it’s not scaring anyone it’s not a good horror movie.
Which would lead to the Goody Feed-exclusive Scare o’ Meter; just how well did it scare the audience, or to be more specific yours truly?
Well, to put it into perspective.
It’s pretty darn scary.
With a storyline that never settled for ‘predictability’, and jump scares that weren’t content with being ‘average’, La Llorona might not have the critics won over…
But it sure as hell got me on its side.
With that said, I would advise horror fans to give it a shot. Not only because it’s tied to the Conjuring universe (with even an Annabelle cameo in the film), but because…
It’ll probably give you the horror experience you crave.
Scare o’ meter: 4.5/5
Overall score: 4.33/5
Would you be jailed for being half-naked in public? Well, the answer will shock you. Seriously. Watch this to the end and you'll understand:
