Chinese New Year is nearing and what’s the most quintessential CNY snack since dinosaurs arose from single-celled organisms?
One Word.
One Piece.
One uniformly-flattened, beautifully-dimpled – with the occasional char on fortunate micro-grid – morsel of meat with a welcoming sheen.
The Bakkwa.
Not this Sheen lah.
This sheen.
Contrary to unpopular belief, Bakkwa tastes nothing like jerky despite Wikipedia would have us believe.
I mean, just ask this meat dude.
What the bakkwa is this?
Ladies and Gentlemen, meat Siuhau Neo
Hailing from Kuantan, Malaysia, and with 1,708 Facebook friends and 425 followers, Siuhau appears to be our very own Southeast Asian bakkwa bae.
According to World of Buzz, Siuhau runs a shop which sells bakkwa and:
- Preserved sausages
- Chicken Floss Pork Floss
- Wine
- Fresh oysters
- Seafood (like crabs and prawns)
- Festive cookies
That’s some healthy 6 options. Just like his sex-pack. Six I mean.
His virulence began on 14 January, when Siuhau took to Facebook to share his business and some Men’s Health-worthy glossy spread.
Here’s the post:
His 247 likes amount to more than the number of friends I have on Facebook and his visuals story has since been covered by World of Buzz, Mothership and even us now.
He has even been covered by Mandarin news media outlet, Oriental Daily, which reported that a middle-aged lady -so enamored by his buff-ness- felt the need to stroke his muscles.
Here’s the picture of it:
Now I’m not sure if the gunny sack was really between them or if it was some sort of visual illusion; but I bet she wouldn’t have been too glad it was there, and he, possibly relieved it was.
The Comments Section
But what’s an article without looking at appraisal, which is what the comment section is, isn’t it?
Translation:
“I feel like eating Bakkwa”
“Human Bakkwa is it?”
Translation: “omg hahahhaa this time really sell backside”
Translation: “Let’s go. lets head to Kuantan to get some bakkwa”
Translation: Hello, it’s in English, why do you need translation?
Translation: “Want to go see some fresh meat?”
Translation: “Did you drool?”
That said, Siuhau Neo promises that his “honey bakkwa” uses a homemade recipe and grilling technique, is “vacuumed-packed” and contains “no preservatives”, is “tasty” and “safe and hygienic to consume.”
I’m sold.
Bakkwa, the Food That’ll Give You One-Pack Instead
If it’s not obvious enough, here’s a shocking fact: you won’t get six-pack abs from having too much bakkwa.
One slice of bakkwa carries 370 calories, which almost two bowls of rice (one bowl is at about 200 calories). Have five of these slices and you’d have met your daily calorie intake.
So please: don’t help yourself to the bakkwas when you’re visiting your relatives. If not, your next visit would be to the clinic.
*All images from Siuhao’s Faceboook page unless otherwise stated in flesh*
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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