M’sian Man Caught Sleeping With 2 Women Said He Was Scared Of Lizard In His Room

Lizards. Where do I even start?

Essentially cold-blooded reptiles with a rabid thirst for insects, lizards are believed to have protected human households as far back as the ancient ages.

“Oh nozzz,” whined a female Eskimo. “Thosezz annoyingzz flieszzz are backzz inzz ourzz igloozz!”

“Can you talk properly?” her male companion demanded. “Are you retarded or something?”

“Uwu, babyzz iszz cryingzz nowzz.”

“Why did I ever apply for an igloo with you? But anyway, where’s that damn fly?”

“Therezz, inzz thezz shavedzz icezz bingsoozz.”

Without another word, the male Eskimo retrieved an icebox from his side pocket.

“I’ve raised you for this,” he kissed the icebox. “Go… Lizardon!” He opened it, and a lizard leapt out.

And YET, lizards aren’t exactly devout protectors either. Despite their prolific insect hunting abilities, they’re known to have a serious bowel issue.

“Dammit, those lizards have been pooping on the walls again,” my mum once complained.

And apparently…

They cause men to commit adultery too.

M’sian Man Caught Sleeping With 2 Women Said He Was Scared Of Lizard In His Room

Thought the entire headline was bollocks?

Well, you’re not alone.

According to Sinar Harian, a 20-year-old Terengganu man was recently detained by the Terengganu Religious Affairs Department (JHEAT) during an unexpected raid at a chalet in Perhentian Island, Besut last Friday (6th September).

He had been caught under the sheets with two of his girlfriends, who are thought to be between the ages of 20 to 30 respectively.

But here’s the thing. When questioned about the act, the suspect accredited his mind-blowing feat to one single aspect:

A lizard.

According to reports, he allegedly told Nik Zuhaiza Ismail, the Assistant Commissioner of Enforcement, that he “feared the presence of a large lizard in his room” and could not sleep there. Which was also why he had headed to his neighbouring chalet and gotten under the sheets with two kind, understanding women.

…

Excuse me, I need to find a lizard pronto.

A Ruse

Upon further investigation, however, it was discovered that the three suspects had planned to rent two chalets that were next to each other.

And there was something else too.

“During the raid, it was found that the room was rented under the man’s name before a search of the adjoining room was launched. He was then caught sleeping with his two girlfriends, one of whom was the wife of another man.”

Well, that escalated quickly.

He Wasn’t The Only One Apprehended Either

Apart from the allegedly “scared cicak man” and his two girlfriends, a 40-year-old man was also arrested after getting caught under the sheets with his girlfriend, who was half his age.

And in a similar vein, his excuse did little to appease the JHEAT commissioner.

“After being brought in for questioning, the 40-year-old man’s reason for sleeping with his 20-year-old girlfriend under the cover was that he had fallen asleep after going to her room to pick something up.”

Incidentally, all the suspects that were interrogated were arrested under Section 31 of the Syariah Criminal Offences Enactment Act 2001, also known as Takzir.

Religious Offences

The Terengganu Religious Affairs Department (JHEAT) conduct anti-vice operations on locations where offences under Syariah law might be committed.

According to reports, Terengganu Islamic enforcers are contemplating whether they should nab married couples in cars too.

The move has, however, been shot down by various sources.

Good thing Singapore isn’t quite as stringent, huh? 😉

But hey, no hanky-panky okay.