M’sians Place Panty Liner In Masks To Fight Haze But It Actually Doesn’t Work

By
Zhi Hao
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As the lovely women (and occasionally ‘men’) of Singapore would surely attest to, pantyliner is a real saving grace.

Literally.

Image: Amazon.in

Essentially an absorbent piece of material used for feminine hygiene purposes, it’s worn in the gusset of a woman’s panties and its uses include:

  • Absorbency for daily vaginal discharge
  • Light menstrual flow
  • Tampon and menstrual cup backup
  • Spotting
  • Post-intercourse discharge
  • Urinary incontinence
Image: Wikipedia

Yep, a real lifesaver, I would imagine.

But here’s the thing. While the pantyliner’s undoubtedly as versatile as they come…

Is it SO versatile that it could actually be used elsewhere?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about the article headline:

Can pantyliner actually be used to fight the haze?

M’sians Place Panty Liner In Masks To Fight Haze

Over in Malaysia, the haze is getting pretty bad, and that’s a distinct understatement;

It’s starting to look like a live-action setting for Silent Hill, for Najib’s sake.

Image: Business Insider Malaysia

Indeed, with numerous schools forced to close down in light of the smoky terrains, Malaysians have been scrambling for anti-haze cover.

And it seems that anything goes. Even panty liners.

In a Twitter post, @khairul_hafidz explains how he had stumbled upon the hack via a WhatsApp group, which reportedly swore the panty liner’s effectiveness in cancelling out all haze-associating side-effects.

“In one of my WhatsApp groups, some have suggested sticking panty liners to their surgical masks.”

Image: Twitter

Why, you wonder? Well, according to the image shared in his WhatsApp group…

It can do a lot of shit.

Image: Twitter

Lest you can’t really Malay, here’s the rough gist of it. Apparently, using pantyliners as masks would help to hinder bacteria, flu, cough, dust, and it helps with sinuses as well.

Mind-boggling stuff, really.

A Sham… A Total Sham

After the whole revelation, however, our dear Twitter user stepped out with a clarification.

Pantyliner, no matter what you might perceive, should NOT be used as a mask.

“Please do not believe this. There are other uses but not as a mask,” he said.

He then recommended the best mask to lessen the effects of the haze. Unsurprisingly, it’s the holy grail of all anti-haze devices:

The N95 mask.

Image: IndiaMART

Ridiculed

After the idea broke out, netizens started voicing their sentiments.

Thankfully, it seems that nobody’s jumping on the pantyliner bandwagon.

“Why not stick a tampon up your nostrils. Then there is no need for a mask,” one Netizen wrote.

So satirical it could be mistaken for a real statement. Classic.

Image: TOTM

What About Our Local Shores?

Lest you’ve been living under a cave, you would surely have noticed a distinct change in weather over the last few days. And no I’m not talking about ginormous rain clouds with flying fishes and whatnot;

I’m talking about the haze. Indonesia’s goddamn gift to us after it f*cked Malaysia up.

With the air being rather smoky-thick the last couple of days, our dear Ministry of Education has even contemplated closing schools should the PSI hit a grand 300. Though rather unfortunately for our young boys and girls, it didn’t quite happen and they had to scoot off to school this morning.

Image: Giphy

Nevertheless, do stay safe while you’re outdoors, people. While the weather certainly seems to have taken a chill pill, you’re still not advised to go outside and take deep breaths on a count of 1-8.

And so, with that in mind, use a N95 mask when necessary…

And abstain from pantyliners, no matter what your parents send on the WhatsApp family group.

Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:

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Zhi Hao
Email: [email protected]