As a Cai Png man, the dreams of Mala Xiang Guo remain distant…
To get you to understand what I’m saying, ordering Mala Xiang Guo is an art beyond this peasant Cai Png man.
For Cai Png, ordering is pretty smooth. You point at 3 dishes; 1 meat, 1 egg, 1 veg, and it should be safe around S$3. Make sure your veggie doesn’t have meat, or it might go to S$4. If you’re feeling luxurious, make it 2 meat, 1 veg. But it very rarely goes above S$5.
Don’t order the drumsticks, cause those are usually suspiciously expensive and not as nice.
But when it comes to Mala, the same system doesn’t work. Even for vegetables, there are tiers that make it as expensive as meat, so applying the same logic to order Mala means S$15 is sometimes possible. If Yong Tau Foo is a game with “normal” difficulty, Cai Png is “easy” and Mala is “hard”.
S$15!! That’s like 5 Cai Pngs.
Basically, all I’m saying is, I’m a Cai Png man because I’m poor.
To eat Mala is to convert Cai Png into Cao (草, grass) Png for the next week. That is… until…
Myojo DRY Mala Xiang Guo
Myojo posted this on 1st Aug 2019 on their Facebook and checking Redmart shows that it is already on shelves for S$1.80, the usual retail price.
S$1.80!! That’s almost half the price of Cai Png. When I checked there’s even a discount, though that probably differs depending on where you check.
This is… Is this that which will bring Mala to the hands of this poor Cai Png man?
Oh my lord and saviour Myojo, you have brought equality to this poor man… No longer will I have to eat Cao Png after Mala day.
Myojo says this uses “a secret seasoning paste that uses various spices such as Szechuan pepper, chilli and coriander leaves which give you numbing mala flavour.”
Char Mee, Mee Poh, Mee Goreng Bowl
According to the post, Mala isn’t the only thing they are releasing. Char Mee, Mee Poh and Mee Goreng will be available in bowl forms as well.
We don’t really know other than being in a bowl what makes these different from the original, but safe to say this is slightly less exciting than Mala.
All flavours are available at major supermarkets, convenience store and e-commerce website. (Yeah, no “s” behind the website for some reason on their post.)
There’s my destination the next time someone calls for “Mala?” again.
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