NEA Officers Are Now Patrolling Hawker Centres & Taking Names of People Who Don’t Practise Safe Distancing

The government has laid out some pretty easy rules for us to follow:

1) Stay at home as much as possible

2) Practise social distancing if you have to go out

But for some reason, humans, the species which figured out how to travel to the moon, can’t abide by these simple instructions.

So, the gahmen has to remind you that you are breaking the law and can be punished if you don’t change your ways.

NEA Officers Are Now Patrolling Hawker Centres & Taking Names for People Who Don’t Practise Safe Distancing

On Sunday (5 Apr), the National Environment Agency (NEA) issued 43 written advisories to hawker centre customers who broke safe-distancing rules implemented to prevent the spread of Covid-19.

Presumably, some of these errant customers thought that the red tape on marked-out seats was just there to add some colour to the dull hawker centre, because NEA officers found some patrons sitting on these seats.

In case you don’t know, some seats in coffee shops and hawker centres have been marked with tape to prevent people from sitting too close to each other.

It’s pretty clear what this means: DON’T SIT LAH!

NEA officers also found some customers standing in a queue less than 1m away from another patron.

“While all were compliant following the advisories, NEA urges all patrons to practice safe distancing by following the markings at the cooked food sections of hawker centres, which have been in place since Apr 1, 2020,” it said in a media release.

So, if you can’t follow these simple rules, the gahmen will take your name down, and we’re pretty sure it’s not a guest list for a party.

According to CNA, all hawker centres now have alternate seats at cooked food sections and floor queue markings at 1,368 popular cooked food stalls.

NEA has also said that 83 markets would implement queue markings to help customers keep a safe distance from each other.

“A vast majority” of markets already have these queue markings.

While you’re probably pissed with these Singaporeans who can’t seem to follow basic instructions, you’ll be happy to know that the adherence rate has improved to almost 50% on Sunday from about 20% early last week, said NEA.

NEA reminded people to maintain the 1m separation while queuing at markets, especially when buying vegetables and fish, where we tend to crowd in front of the stalls.

Visit the market on weekdays

NEA also advised the elderly and children to avoid visiting markets on weekends as they fall under the vulnerable groups category.

It said that visiting the markets on weekdays would be safer as most people would be working at home.

“Such small adjustments will also make for a more pleasant visit to the markets and a safer environment for all,” said NEA.

But if you have to visit the market on the weekend, try to go before the peak period between 7.30am and 10am, as stalls open as early as 5am.

And, as always, maintain a distance from other customers, and follow the markings on the floor.

If in doubt, just act like you hate humans and being around them makes your skin crawl.

Reader: But I already hate humans

That’s the spirit.