People Can Apparently Hire Someone to Quarrel on Behalf of You Via Taobao

Remember that annoying ex of yours who just won’t get off your back? Or that friend of yours who you had a falling out with about something petty?

As much as you would love to tell them off yourself, you may not actually want to waste your breath on people who just won’t listen to you.

It’s so emotionally draining to argue with someone that it’s easier to just forget it.

But here’s the dream deal: You can get someone else to do it for you and get that last word in.

What?! Where?

Taobao, the Chinese online shopping platform, has long been touted as a one-stop shop where you can find practically anything. And they mean anything, even professional quarrelling services.

Or what Singaporeans like to call, the bang-table-skill. 

If you’re a naturally argumentative person who doesn’t back down from any fight, maybe you could consider this career path.

For a convenient fee starting from 5 RMB (about SGD$1) to 20 RMB (about SGD$4), you can hire professionals to engage in “substitute quarrelling” with the enemy of your choice.

How?

Just search for “代骂架” or “代吵架” on Taobao.

Of course, face-to-face arguments are too risky, so the service only extends to calls and WeChat or QQ messages.

The more you pay, the more the service might get to bother your target with non-stop calls and messages in an attempt to nail the point further in.

Or just make it unbearably annoying for them, just like how they annoy you. Take that!

The Process

Sellers will first engage with you to find out what the story is all about, what you want to argue about and even which dialect you wish to roast your target with.

By the way, you’d better pick one that sounds even more menacing. Once the deal is sealed via payment made with WeChat or QQ, it’s time to get down to business.

As intriguing (and tempting) this sounds, services like these really raise questions about whether it is legal or appropriate, for harassment is an offence and maintaining public order is of utmost importance in both China and Singapore.

However, as long as there are still people in this world who needs a good screaming at in order to come to their senses, maybe this service is something we can rely on to set those people straight.

I mean, if you ever wish to get your credit card charges waived…don’t say we teach you one hor!