I’m a lover of everything served in a can – which explains my undying relationship with “baby” fat and cystic acne.
I’m also a sucker for anything that sizzles in its own fat. I’m talking pancetta and super streaky bacon. Just talking about it makes the fat inside twirl in excitement.
It’s unhealthy and poses an undeniable chain of truly horrifying consequences. Have you heard of my motto? I’m here for a fun time and not a long time.
I’ve lived like this for the longest time yet I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t tried to change my diet. What if Elon Musk’s descendants make time travel possible?
I would want to be able to tell my 20 adopted African children that I once participated in an e-bay auction of Elon’s hair implant strand.
Why is Processed Meat Cancerous?
Let’s go back to the basics. What exactly is processed meat?
According to the World Health Organization, processed meat is meat that has been “transformed through salting, curing, fermentation, smoking, or other processes”.
In layman terms, it’s your everyday source of nutrition.
The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) was tasked to evaluate the likelihood of cancer caused by the high consumption of processed meat and red meat.
The 2014 research was done following a series of epidemiological studies that had found associations behind several types of cancers and meat consumption.
The results of research by the IARC discovered that processed meat are highly carcinogenic to humans. In other words, it’s pretty cancerous… Very much like tobacco and asbestos.
It’s Actually Not That Bad
Now hold your horses right there. Don’t just throw your stash away like that! Bacon does belong in the trash. You may kindly send them my way.
While processed meats have been labelled as cancerous as tobacco and asbestos, it’s not exactly as harmful.
How do I say this? To simplify it for your benefit, processed meats were simply categorised alongside tobacco because they are all known cancer-causing agents.
The IARC’s classifications do not group the elements according to the risk. That’s a relief!
Still, if you want to send them over…
How Do I Reduce My Risk of Cancer?
Girl, do I look like I’m an expert in this field? No.
Thankfully, the Cancer Council has provided us with some expert recommendations on how we can reduce the risk of cancer.
The council advices that you “cut out processed meats altogether or keep them to an absolute minimum”. It recommends swapping processed meat for healthier meat and protein options like chicken, lentils, and eggs.
You can survive on those, can’t you? I might be able to help a little! Send your stashes of bacon and spam my way. I’ll take one for the team, you’re welcome.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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