A 29-year-old Singaporean man took his life on 6 Sep 2025, weeks after his girlfriend of eight years ended their relationship and made him cancel their Build-To-Order (BTO) flat.
The man and his girlfriend, also 29, had been together since their polytechnic days and were planning to move into their new home between June and August 2026. The relationship ended in late July 2025.
His mother, Madam Tan, told Stomp that the family had already prepared $50,000 for the flat renovation and $10,000 for the wedding. The girlfriend made him cancel their BTO before officially breaking up with him.
He attempted suicide on 28 Jul 2025, the day after the break-up, but was rescued in time. The family tried to distract him with a cruise and a Shanghai trip, but he could not recover from the emotional blow.
In his final note, he described himself as “useless”.
The family has not told his 92-year-old grandmother what happened. Madam Tan said her son was their only child, and now they have no one to carry the family line forward.
Mother Describes Son’s Background and Financial Stability
The man held a Diploma in Mechatronics from Temasek Polytechnic and later pursued aerospace engineering at Nanyang Technological University. He left NTU after two years when home-based study during the Covid-19 pandemic proved difficult.
He worked as an engineering technician at Applied Materials for three years, where he received a performance award. His mother described him as thrifty and responsible, noting that he had over $200,000 in savings and investments.
He did Lalamove deliveries at one point and changed jobs in May 2025 to please his girlfriend, though his mother was against it because riding a motorbike for deliveries is dangerous. Madam Tan said he was not ambitious but was a good son who never dated another girl during their relationship.
The mother said her son would have inherited the family’s assets as their only child. She and her husband are in their mid-60s, and everything would have gone to him, including their car.
Ex-Girlfriend Explains Break-Up Due to Emotional Exhaustion
In a message seen by Stomp, the ex-girlfriend explained that she ended the relationship after years of “emotional exhaustion”. She said she had tried to encourage him to improve himself but no longer felt they shared the same outlook on life.
She wrote that she noticed he tended to give up when things became difficult, whether in studies or work. She did not want to get married when she already had these concerns and had been hoping he would outgrow them over their eight years together, but saw no change.
She expressed sorrow for the break-up and asked the mother to watch over him, saying she feared he might not understand her reasons.
Madam Tan questioned why the girlfriend waited so long to end things after eight years together, especially after attending family gatherings like Chinese New Year and discussing wedding plans.
The mother believes the Housing and Development Board should provide counselling services for couples who cancel their BTO flats. She said every couple sees getting a BTO as a final step before marriage, and support might have made a difference.
Over 100 friends and colleagues attended his wake.
“If he was a bad person, would so many have come?” his mother said.
“Seriously, I am still in shock – what did she see as a bad trait in my son?”
HELPLINES
- Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
- Samaritans of Singapore: 1767 (24 hours)/ 9151-1767 (24-hour CareText via WhatsApp)
- Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
- Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928
- Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
- Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1
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