For the purpose of this article, I had tried to Google “shortcuts” and “Singaporeans” to search for an affirmation that we are indeed a shortcut-loving bunch of homo-sapiens.
If BBC says so, it must be right.
Not all shortcuts are good
Well, while Singlish is good, there appears to be shortcuts that are bad, DUH.
A case in point would be Andy Lau’s irate Facebook post on an errant Singpost delivery person who had failed to deliver his parcel after just a few mere knocks on his door.
No lah not him, PCK will ask you to use your blain use your blain
Here is the full post for your viewing pleasure:
Delivery guy knocked for a few seconds, ran off and left the note before I can answer the door. I sprinted down and…
If you’ve lost your spectacles, just like my pet tortoise did, here goes:
Delivery guy knocked for a few seconds, ran off and left the note before I can answer the door. I sprinted down and camped at his bike until he appeared. Confronted him about it and he couldnt put his words together properly on how he waited for more than 20 minutes. Whole process took 5minutes or so. Singapore Post get your shit together.
Singpost(er) Boy Not
In a nutshell, Andy had heard a few knocks on the door but was unable to locate the delivery person when he had opened the door; just shortly after hearing the knocks.
He had then sprinted after the delivery person and had camped at his bike in order to question him.
When the delivery person came back to his bike, he was unable to explain why he had not waited for the door to be open.
According to Andy, the entire process from hearing the knocks to his subsequent sprint towards the delivery bike took just five minutes
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Wait, it gets worse.
In a subsequent comment, Andy then shared that the delivery person failed to even bring up the parcel to begin with as Andy saw it on the bike while scouting out the guilty party.
Talk about beginning with an end in mind.
Shortcut level: 99.
While not achieving quite the same virulence as the lorry/cyclist incident which has by now garnered more than 2.8 million views, there were still plenty of netizens chiming in on Andy’s post, which as at the point of writing, has swelled to a modest 224 comments and 394 shares.
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Most commiserated with Andy and shared similar experiences:
One took the time to appreciate Andy’s name:
A pun-ny few took the apt contextual opportunity to bring Ninja Van into the situation:
Many Netizens, One Hero
Yet and be that as it may, no other comment comes close to the brilliant comment proffered up by Rommel.
Now, who’s Rommel you might ask?
This, my internet friends, is Rommel, aka the social media executive from Singpost daring to wade into this minefield, bootless and with a cross-hair on his back.
I’ll take Rommel’s words that he had indeed called and spoken to Andy Lau.
I mean, it can’t be that all he had done was to leave Andy a voicemail requesting for him to give Singpost’s contact centre a call right?
But anyways, here’s my colleague’s advice (his advice always works, like that day when he told a cat to drink a dog’s pee): use parcel collection services like POPStation. You don’t need to stay at home just to realize that your delivery personnel’s van has “broken down”, and you can collect any time you want.
Kill two stones with one Twitter.
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