Someone Is Placing Tiny Cowboy Hats On Pigeons In Las Vegas & No One Knows Why

By
Shawn Ambrose
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Animal abuse is no laughing matter.

We’ve seen numerous videos of stray cats and dogs on the streets being abused in horrific ways.

But this, this is worse than anything I’ve ever seen.

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Someone Is Placing Tiny Cowboy Hats On Pigeons In Las Vegas

Stop laughing.

In what must be the weirdest case of animal assault, someone has started placing tiny cowboy hats on pigeons in Las Vegas and no one knows why.

Over the past week, there have been multiple reports of Las Vegas pigeons sporting various colored cowboy hats.

You probably have a million questions waiting to pour out of your mouth.

Who’s doing this? Why are they doing this? Why can I not stop laughing?

This may amuse you (and me) but one animal rescue group is certainly not laughing.

Animal rescue group looking for answers

Lofty Hopes, a pigeon rescue and advocacy group, is working to find some answers to the pigeon-hat mystery. Their co-founder told HuffPost that after several days of searching, on Tuesday they finally tracked down the pigeon in the red hat, which they’ve named Cluck Norris.

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Image: Country Rebel

They also found another pigeon with a pink hat, who they’ve named Coo-Lamity Jane (damn, that’s quite clever). Apparently, Coo-Lamity Jane and another brown-hatted pigeon are still on the loose.

Videos of the hat-wearing birds have been circulating on social media in the last week, as the Wild Wild pigeons are roaming the streets of Las Vegas.

Hats may be glued on

This is the part where I make you feel like a terrible human being, dear reader, because while you’ve been laughing, Hillman said she realized the hats appeared to be permanently secured.

She believes the hats have been stuck on with something more industrial than just “eyelash glue”.

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That’s right, glue. Someone actually glued tiny hats on those poor birds’ heads.

Image: Giphy

Hillman, however, says that the hats may come off on their own.

“We could wait until they molt it off, wait until he loses his feathers when it gets warm out,” she said.

“Oil neutralizes glue, but then you have the issue of an oily pigeon.”

This person is a monster. Not only has he glued hats onto the heads of unconsenting pigeons, but they may become oily as a result, and no wants an oily bird unless it’s a chicken that we’re going to eat.

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Hillman has set a food trap to capture Chuck Norris (the pigeon) so she can assess his situation, but since people keep feeding the fashionable bird, he’s “not interested in food”.

What Hillman doesn’t know is that Chuck Norris doesn’t go to food, food goes to Chuck Norris out of fear.

While I hope this pigeon-bandit is caught and punished for his hilarious crime, you really have to take your hat off to him for his effort.

Pigeon: Hey that’s not funny, man

Oh, I didn’t mean to-

Pigeon: My friends and I have all forgotten what it feels like to have the wind in our hair when we fly

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But you technically don’t even have hai-

Pigeon: Say sorry

… OK, I’m sorry. 

Pigeon: You should be

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Shawn Ambrose
Email: [email protected]