Soon, Smart Offices Can Detect The Exact Amount of Time You Went to the Toilet During Working Hours

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Let’s face it; everyone has skived at work before.

You, me, the lady next to you and that creep under the table. We are all guilty of it.

(Incidentally, if you’re denying it, you’re self-delusional)

Skiving could come in many forms, really: sneaking to the pantry for a thoroughly undeserved break, camping in the toilet because you need to clear your ‘load’ or using your phone to browse Instagram when the boss’ not around.

But what if I tell you that save for perhaps the last point, your boss could soon detect when you’re abusing the first two?

I’m not kidding, because smart offices are in the works. And these abominations will apparently be able to keep track of a lot of things, including the time you spend away from the table.

Image: Know Your Meme


Ben Waber, chief executive of a Boston company called Humanyze, claims that the company’s revenues can be boosted by “tracking what its employees actually do all day.

How does it track… exactly?

The company collects data from ID badges slung around people’s necks, kinda like the ones employees utilise to when swiping into work.

The only difference? These badges are incorporated with microphones and sensors that “know where you are and who you are talking to.” What you’re saying, however, is not detected. So all that gossip would, quite fortunately, not make it to the higher-ups.

Recently, the company agreed to a partnership with a big ID card supplier, which means that technically his systems should be making their way to a lot more companies.

Meanwhile, other companies are creating smart office chairs that can tell if “you are sitting on them”. Although I wonder whether you can fool it with some makeshift weights.

Nevertheless, for office employees everywhere… good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favour.

Fun fact: there were test runs before

London’s Daily Telegraph tried sticking motion-tracking boxes under journalists’ desks at their newspaper office last year, and suffice it to say that it didn’t work out that well.

In fact, once the employees found out about it, they made so much noise that the devices were removed. Fast.

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So guys, that’s the key point right there.

Create a big enough outcry, and everything’ll be fine. 😉