There’s A New Sex Toy From Japan Called Brainf*cker (Yes, It’s Literally A Brain)

*At a Japanese Sex Toy company marketing meeting*

OK, guys, our competitors are gaining on us. They’re coming up with zany new designs for their sex toys, and everyone’s going crazy over it on social media. We need something new, something entirely different from all our products.

…

Come on guys, think outside the box, use your brain!

I’VE GOT IT!

Yes?

What about a brain?

A brain, yes what about it??

What about a brain sex toy?

A brain you can f*ck?

A brain you can f*ck.

…

…

Genius!

Many people have sex toys. It isn’t as embarrassing as it was in the past. I’m sure even you, dear reader, might have one of your ow-

OK, but I’m sure you’ve at least seen one of th-

OK, FINE. But everyone knows what a sex toy is. It’s something you use for sexual pleasure when the partner’s away or when you’re single but too lazy to mingle.

Tama Toys’ latest sex toy, however, has everyone scratching their heads.

There’s A New Sex Toy Called Brainf*cker And We’re Confused

Now, I’ve heard about sapiosexuals, but this is taking it a little too far. Tama Toys recently launched a new sex toy called Brainf*ker.

Now, if you bought one and were disappointed not to find a DVD of Inception in the box, you weren’t the only one. Here’s what it looks like:

Yes, it actually looks like a brain. What did you expect? It’s called Brainf*cker, for heaven’s sake.

According to SoraNews24, the masturbatory aid weighs around 1.4 kilograms, which is around the average weight of an actual human brain.

Hannibal: Say that again but slower.

Get out of here, Hannibal!

There are no buttons or switches on it. It’s described as “quivery” and comes with a tube of lotion.

Moreover, the term “Brainf*cker” actually refers to the user and not the product, if that confused you.

So how do you use it?

Well… it’s pretty self-explanatory, no? That hole at the bottom isn’t used for storing coins. It’s where you place your ding-dong until your brain goes hoo-haa.

Hannibal: Ooh la la

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Now, you’re probably wondering – why?

Why would anyone create such a product and why would anyone use such a product?

Well, even Tama Toys doesn’t know. In a tweet, they said:

“Why is it shaped like a brain, you ask?
Even I don’t know how we came up with this idea…”

At any rate, if this brain has aroused your curiosity, then you’ll be pleased to know that it goes on sale this month, though no official price has been announced yet.

Though I can’t picture people lining up to buy brains they can f*ck. But hey, maybe I’m the weird one.