In S’pore, There’s a Group of ‘Entrepreneurs’ That We All Hate: The Self-Entitled Entrepreneur

Last Updated on 2023-02-14 , 4:32 pm

We all love strawberries: the Instagram-worthy red berries go well with cakes, frozen yogurt and even smoothies. Some can be way too sour but that’s the kick: it makes you drool just by thinking about them.

And we all hate the other kind of strawberry, the ones who are usually born after 1980 with rich parents. They have an uncanny talent of high expectations: to them, everything’s basic human rights. Just like the fruit mentioned earlier, they always look good on the outside, and are usually sour in the inside. Instead of making you drool when you think of them, they make you vomit.

Unfortunately, they’re everywhere. Heck, if you’re in Starbucks now enjoying your cup of kopi-o kosong, a strawberry might be next to you, doing an OOTD and then complaining to her boyfriend on why the air-con is so hot, or why you’re so smelly.

These fake high-SES people usually can’t survive well in the workforce: after all, to them, working is against human rights (but…talking about how hardworking you are isn’t). Like what my boss says, the first thing he looks for in an employee is whether he or she is a strawberry, and it’s damn easy to tell without even seeing the person. Just ask any HR personnel and you’ll know.

So, what do these strawberries do to survive? Well, they usually have an ATM at home so it’s not about putting bread on the table: it’s more of how trendy is their job?

Surprise, surprise: they’re entrepreneurs or self-employed, and this article is all about them: the strawberry entrepreneurs.

What Are The Strawberry Entrepreneurs?

You should have seen them before: they’re as common as air. Chances are, if you’re normal enough to have friends, you’ll have some strawberry friends, and most of them are strawberry entrepreneurs.

After all, tell me: have you seen a strawberry survive in a workplace for more than three months? Highly unlikely. Either the company is mistreating the strawberry, or the boss is torturing the strawberry. And to the strawberry, every company is the same: evil, cunning and lack basic human rights.

So, since they have an ATM at home, why not just withdraw more money and start a business?

And tell the world that the money is from his savings, because we’re all stupid enough to believe?

What Businesses Are They In?

It might not be a business: as long as it’s a job that doesn’t require the strawberry to work and yet looks like he’s working, it’s a match.

It can, of course, still be a business, like a restaurant, an app development company, a consultation company or whatnot. What’s important is that the industry must be trendy and sexy: the strawberry must look good, and can tell stories about his business achievements.

If it’s not a business, it can be a self-employed position, usually a commission-based sales one, like an insurance agent, a property agent or a freelancer. Once again, it must look sexy.

Strawberries wouldn’t go into businesses like import and export of metals, pet food or door-to-door commission-based sales position. They cannot be a freelance air-con servicing technician as well despite the good money.

Remember, it’s all about the optics.

How do you spot a strawberry entrepreneur?

This is what this article is all about; after all, we pride ourselves to be informative, and this information is critical for only one reason: if you work with a strawberry business, you’re set to lose that friend (strawberries, despite their flaws, can be good friends). Invest in their so-called business and you can also forget about getting a single cent back.

So read on, as we provide you with the worse of the worst: the signs of a strawberry entrepreneur.

(i.e. one of your friends. Or many of your friends if you’re unlucky enough)

1. The Strawberry Business That Starts Big – Very Bigly

Do some research and you’ll notice that big companies start small, and while small companies (that are still small now) start big.

Don’t get me wrong: I subscribe to the “go big or go home” logic. However, note that it’s “go big”, not “start big”.

Strawberry businesses, for the optics, would start big because strawberries are always looking for short-cuts: why start small when an ATM is right at home, right?

A strawberry entrepreneur can start out with a chain of big restaurants with nice Instagram-worthy backdrops, investing lots of money from their “savings” and taking big risks because there’s nothing to lose: all money usually falls from the sky.

And no doubt, the business falls fast as well – or survive (read #3).

A real business would start with whatever limited resources he or she has. While we can argue that one can be resourceful to find resources, here’s the thing: being resourceful takes time as well. And as time passes, one need to feed himself, too. It’s still resources (time) spent.

We’re going to use Goody Feed as an example (to boost our ego), but honestly it’s the best example ‘coz what we’ve done is still online.

This is one of our first videos, published in Facebook:

We didn’t even know what we were doing: all we know is that videos are raging in Facebook, and so we had to do it in order to stay relevant and in the game. We got the cheapest camera without mic, and even our laptops could not support the video-editing software.

Fast-forward a year later, and we’ve a video team with people who graduated from film schools, we had much better equipment and we at least made our videos a tad better:

And how did we get better (I think so)? We earn more money so that we can invest in better quality. We never have the money to start off with all the good stuff (TBH I’m still shocked at how much those equipment cost).

We start slow but make sure we want to go big. We’re not big yet but at least, better than last time la.

Like what our boss would usually say, “We can’t carry an LV bag around, although we all want one. We need to work our way to get the LV bag, and in the meantime, you still need a bag to carry your stuff. Let’s start with Adidas first. That one also expensive leh.”

Think about it and it’ll make perfect sense.

After all, perfection hinders progress: it’s always progress that leads to perfection, not perfection that leads to progress.

2. The Strawberry Who Expects You to Buy From Him, If Not You’re Not a Friend

This is the worst.

A strawberry usually has a sense of entitlement, but it usually doesn’t affect you: that sense of entitlement is often just a by-product of your gossip with your friends. But if the strawberry is promoted to a strawberry entrepreneur, then you’ve just been given an ultimatum: support his business (or his insurance policy), or you’re a bastard friend.

You’d have seen this friend before: he just became an insurance or MLM agent, and approached you. If you didn’t buy it from him, he’ll start to get defensive first, and then started to get angry at you.

Soon, you’ll lose this friend, and that’s not the worst.

Your name would be plastered in his social media feed, accusing you of things like “I just know how much our friendship cost” or “I never believe you to be such a person”. It’ll be ambiguous, so you’ll have no way to defend yourself.

Suddenly, you become the bad guy.

You either give in and buy from him, or you slowly see how he lose all his friends.

This is so common, I bet you can name one of these friends without even thinking.

3. The Strawberry Humblebrag Online Like Crazy

So, the strawberry just got a contract worth $50,000. What does he do first? He’ll spend a bulk of his time trying to let the world know: without outright bragging. Insta-stories turn from bars to dots.

The strawberry just got an appointment with a prospect. What does he do first? He’ll post online about his wait in Starbucks (cannot be kopitiam, of course).

The strawberry just helped client did a claim. What does he do first? He’ll thank God online, when all he wanted was to thank himself.

You see, when there’s a lack of a legit, profitable business, he would have to create the illusion, sometimes subconsciously, to justify his unreasonable business. It’s like what they say about people who lie: they tend to provide more information than the answer simply to cover up the lie.

And in this case, to cover up the insecurities.

It’s so common to see them humblebrag, I dare you to go to Facebook or Instagram now and scroll for one minute. You’ll definitely come across one humblebragging strawberry entrepreneur educating you about business.

Thanks, but no thanks.

4. The Strawberry Would Post Numerous Inspirational Tidbits about Business, Self-Improvement or Business Tips Online

Let me ask you: if you’re a real boss, do you have time even to go to social media?

After all, a real boss looks at time as money: he has an overall view of how much an hour cost, especially if he has engaged people (he’s spending money to buy time). Ten minutes spent writing an inspirational post in Instagram could mean nothing to us, but to him, it could have cost hundreds of dollars.

Secondly, a real boss doesn’t have the time to really share with the world about business – unless he’s making millions of dollars, he’ll have to make sure his time is spent wisely, and not on social media to humblebrag.

And thirdly, why? Because let’s face it: most of us like to see images of food, travel or duck faces. That strawberry isn’t posting to educate us (HAHAHA), but to show us that he’s running a business.

Last I know, a real boss doesn’t like to be seen as a boss. As a leader, yes, but not as a boss.

It’s just the opposite of what a real boss does, and for obvious reasons: he’s not running a business, but running a show.

5. The Business That Doesn’t Make Money

You know what’s most bullshit advice about running a business? “Money isn’t important.”

Well, to the strawberry, it might make sense because every expense is paid for with an ATM: from the fancy office to the employees. A legit, real business needs cashflow – without them, the business can’t function.

An entrepreneur telling you that “money isn’t important” is like a person telling you that he can survive one month without food and water: sounds good but you know right from the start it’s bullshit.

Of course, it’s not about the talk. It’s about the walk.

A strawberry business is usually one that focuses more on the optics than cashflow: it can be a restaurant with Instagram-worthy design, but attract more flies than customers. Or it could be an app company with an app that has just 100 downloads, most likely from friends and family members.

You wonder how they make money, and the strawberry would either say he’s at the user acquisition stage, or he’ll get defensive. Either that, he’ll give you a lesson about business: that running a business is never about money, but about passion.

Last I know, you can’t pay a person with passion. And last I know, CPF doesn’t recognize passion as CPF contribution.

6. The Strawberry Works in Starbucks with an iMac

Similar to the previous point, it’s all about humblebragging, but this time offline (which usually goes online afterwards).

I’m going out on a limb now and say that if you see someone using a Macbook, sipping a latte and watching YouTube videos with his laptop, and occasionally taking selfies with his MacBook showing some graphs he found online, that’s a strawberry entrepreneur.

There’s nothing wrong with working in Starbucks (actually, there’s something very wrong but that’s for another article) – it’s just that somehow, the strawberry needs to portray a trendy way to look like a workaholic boss, and what’s trendier than a Macbook in a Starbucks outlet.

You know, I do have a better idea if a strawberry is just starting out and cannot afford to rent an office: just go to any tertiary institution. There are air-con, foodcourts and countless seats. If you need Wifi, just ask your friends for it.

But then again, where’s the Instagram?

This article isn’t exhaustive

Don’t cast everything you’ve read here into stone: this is just a guide, but for anyone who has strawberry friends-turned- entrepreneurs, it’s actually a relatively familiar scene.

So, if you come across any strawberry entrepreneur, remember: keep calm, but do be prepared to lose a friend.

Featured Image: GaudiLab / Shutterstock.com