#ThirstyThursday 獨享 Bottled Bubble Milk Tea Review: Jelly Tea With A Taste of Drowning

It’s 8 Aug… You know what that means!! It’s a long weekend!

Half-day off!

Screw work!

Except… there’s still ThirstyThursday.

Bubble Milk Tea. In a bottle because why not. At S$2.50 a pop because why not. Even found their website here.

Our office lord and saviour cameralord92 who took the photos titled the photo albums “weird bottled bubble tea”.

I have been sent many photo albums. None of them had personal opinions added to them before.

Not good.

Is this a warning?

This one clearly put Konjac Jelly Bubble here. The last time that happened, it didn’t go that well.

Ah Hock loved Michelle and asked her, ‘Ai stead mai?’ in the 90s. Today, he tried again but would it work? Prepare some tissue paper and watch their love story here:

There, those black buggers there.

It’s sealed with foil, and you need to use the cap’s sharp thingy to open it. In the case this doesn’t taste good, you can also use the cap as a weapon to poke your boss.

Pouring the drink, it is unusually thick and syrupy. And dark.

Ah… Nothing like sitting by the window staring into the outside while avoiding work…

While sipping on…

What the hell is this? This smells like medicine.

The Smell

Suddenly, this feels like a curse for the long weekend to be spent drinking medicine. Not a good thing.

Sip.

It’s not good. It’s a thick, creamy but somewhat oil-like texture, which isn’t too bad texture-wise.

But the smell, the smell.

Image: Giphy

So instead of drinking this myself, I went around feeding people around the office. Why should I have to suffer this by myself?

It was all working well and I managed to get one to try it.

Except I screwed up somewhere and accidentally mentioned the medicine word. So there was only one additional victim after that.

Anyway, it smells bad. The other said it’s artificial in taste. Also, weird jelly.

So I thought to myself: what if it is only the smell? I pinched my nose and started drinking the milk tea.

Hold your breath… Sip… Heads out of the water… Breathe in… Hold your breath… Sip…

Why do I feel like I’m swimming?

Hold your breath… [email protected] a pearl got stuck in my throat.

Lesson learnt: don’t hold your breath while drinking things.

Flavour-wise, it’s still acceptable. But the smell is really bad.

What am I drinking?

Teh Peng is great. Very simple in execution and ingredients.

Black tea, sugar, hot water, condensed milk, ice. Incidentally, replace the condensed milk with milk and that’s the ingredients for bubble tea in shops.

I mean, add stabilisers here and there, how many shit can you stuff inside a bottl-

I’m scared. Very scared. The ingredient list is longer than the paragraph above. Am I drinking milk tea or am I drinking, let’s see, Mono-diglycerides with a pinch of silicon dioxide? Why is there 110.2 mg of sodium?

What’s more surprising is that I expected this to be a product of China, but it came from Taiwan where bubble tea came from.

The good thing is, this has a shelf life of 1 year. Cool.

Until the day where World War 3 happens, or when China starts taking over Singapore, I’ll have my 2 cups of Teh Peng. Hell, if no Teh Peng, why even buy this? Why not Pokka?

Rating: 0/5