#ThirstyThursday: Playmade Wasabi Milk Tea Review: An Unholy Concoction Explained Only By Chaos

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Well…I guess there’s only one way to find out.

Those are the words our intro to this drink ended with.

Those are the words I didn’t want to hear.

But Goody Feed just had to do it.

     

It’s ringing in my head as I came to the realisation that I was the one to drink this.

Well…I guess there’s only one way to find out.

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

one way to find out.

find out.

Image: Giphy

Find out? What the f*ck do we need to find out? That durn thing caused Instagram user @paopaocha.sg to feel sick in the stomach!

You know what people call those who don’t learn from other people’s lessons?

Stupid. That’s what they call them.

Having seen my fellow foodie brethens fall prey to the Wasabi Milk Tea…

I fear it.


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Image: Reddit (r/MemeTemplatesOfficial)

That’s an existence too dangerous to exist. Too unholy a concoction to be possible.

Sometimes people don’t realise that for things to be done, you need to have a reason. There is little rhyme or reason going on here. Wasabi. With milk tea.

Or is it the other way round? You know what’s green? Wasabi. You know what’s white? Milk tea. But you know what’s also green and white? The Joker:

Image: consequenceofsound.net

This drink embodies everything that the Joker symbolises. There’s no reason for this to exist, or logic to why things are done. Chaos is the only desire.


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Taste Test

As I brought the straw to my lips, I feared for my life as my colleagues watched eagerly, waiting for death and punishment to be dealt to their unwilling victim.

My colleagues. / Image: Me.me

The sweet tingling of wasabi shook the roof of my tongue, and spread to cover the base of my entire mouth.

If you have ever seen someone dump a whole lump of wasabi onto sushi, you know what drinking this feels like. If you have ever seen anybody mistake wasabi for avocado, you know what this drink feels like.


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If you ever thought wasabi was a condiment that should be drinkable, and perhaps even overpowering, good for you.

Image: Giphy

But this drink wasn’t made for the common man, no. This is what happens in a lawless society, run amok by misguided anarchists.

It’s a drink created by a freak of accident, and definitely nowhere close to a meticulously designed masterpiece.

The last time I had anything like this, it was the monster of a mixture that orientation camp leaders somehow decided was a good idea for everybody to suffer and drink together.


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It was one of those punishment games where they mixed coke, ketchup, curry sauce, fries, and everything they can grab in the vicinity that was remotely edible.

As chaos has it, I imagine this came about when someone accidentally threw wasabi into milk tea, mistaking that for avocado.

Rating: -5/5

This drink is reserved for a very special kind of people who’d like to watch the world burn for no reason.

Image: Giphy


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