My mum once said this:
“Son, if you ever kena bird shit on your head, remember;Â go and buy TOTO.”
“Why?”
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“Because you stand a higher chance of striking TOTO than getting hit by birdshit.”
“Ooooo, okay!”
Ever since then, I would always make it a point to stand under tall trees, where birds are inclined to roost and do their no. 2. But for some reason, they never chose me.
“WHY?!’ I once shouted at them. “WHY?! Is it cos I’m Chinese?” I pointed at the Eurasian next to me, whose blonde hair has been highlighted with streaks of ‘pale white’. “YOU LIKE ANG MOHS IS IT?”
But of course, they never responded. And I soon gave up and put it all behind me.
Until today. Having entered the office, the first thing I saw was my boss’ open zipper as he came rushing towards me.
“Boss, your zipper’s open-”
“Forget that; I’ve got a topic for you.”
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“Oh, what is it?”
He brandished a piece of paper at me. The headline reads: “Unlucky Toyota Owner Gets Poop Shower; Netizens Shares Own Experiences And Tips”
I looked at him. He looked at me.
“Lucky son of a gun,” we both said.
Unlucky Toyota Owner Gets Poop Shower; Netizens Share Own Experiences And TipsÂ
Alright, all jokes aside, getting lambasted with bird poop isn’t exactly a happy occasion. Sure, they do say that it symbolises good luck and whatnot…
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But how does this equate to good luck?
Indeed, if there’s one thing for sure, it’s not that of a guaranteed draw win.
It’s that the car needs a proper wash. Like as soon as possible.
Morbid experiences
The unidentified owner above might’ve had it bad.
But he’s certainly not alone.
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And because the topic appears and sounds downright horrifying, ROADS.sg, the Facebook page that posted the aforementioned picture, has some advice to dish out:
- Look out for trees that hover directly above parking lots
- Beware birds that chirp endlessly
- Are there any bird shit droppings on the road surface?
And I agree. Should one of the above points resonate with you, it might be worth to recognise your parking attempt as that of a ‘gamble’.
If you can relate to two, you’re playing it with pretty ‘high stakes’. And if all three points seem to be singing ‘c’mon Barbie, let’s go party’ to you…
You might want to look for another parking spot. Like seriously.
And just to cover all the bases, ROADS.sg shared a trick for those who kena’d already too.
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Posted by ROADS.sg on Sunday, 17 February 2019
Kudos!
So now what?
While I can’t even imagine the horrors the driver’ll surely have to contend with, I can envisage one thing. As this particular Netizen so aptly puts it…
It might be time to hit it big.
These GRCs & SMCs will have the toughest fights in GE2025; here’s why:
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