My Aunt Matilda is many things: malicious, violent and incorrigibly oppressive. Yet even amidst her entire horde of ‘positive’ traits, there’s one thing she’s not:
A fan of amusement rides.
“I pity those who pay for amusement rides,” she once said at our great-great-great granddad’s funeral. “Closeted, desperate little pricks who would fork out actual money to have a taste of death. Ridiculous.”
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“But Aunt Matilda,” I replied, “they’re just looking for some fun.”
“Drugs are fun too. Human trafficking is fun too.” She crossed her arms. “Alright, maybe more for the peddlers; not so much for the victims.”
“Healthy fun, Aunt Matilda.” I sighed. “Harmless fun.” I’ve long since gotten used to her distasteful brand of humour.
“Hmph, whatever kid. One day you’ll know what I mean.” She leaned forward and stared at me, her cold, lifeless black eyes boring a hole into mine. “One day, you’ll realise just why I scorn amusement rides.”
She breathed softly into my left ear.
“Hopefully, you don’t realise it first-hand.”
And she cackled and left the scene like a witch in human disguise, leaving a distinctly petrified me behind.
Watch: Theme Park Rider Flies Off Of Ride When Seatbelt Malfunctions
And the day has come. The prophecy has been fulfilled.
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Aunt Matilda’s ominous prediction has come true.
Not the first-hand part, thankfully, but it has happened:
A mortifying theme park mishap, right in the heart of Thailand.
On 30 November 2019, Facebook user F Denchai Krapaothong uploaded an 11-second video clip to the social media platform, in which an amusement ride known only as ‘Crazywave’ could be seen spinning in high-octane, truly crazy wavy motions.
You can’t see it in standstill images, but it’s really quite something. But anyway, you know the drill.
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Strapped in with nowhere to go, these visitors knew what they’ve signed up for, and are prepared to take it to the end with a whole deal of screaming and snot-flying involved.
And when the ride’s over, they’ll be left starry-eyed and breathless in their seats, as a distinctly amused staff member comes along to salvage them from their plight.
“Lol, you guys look dead,” he/she would probably say.
But here’s the thing: that was the plan. What happened, however, was a little different.
A little in the contrary sense.
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To be fair, the video started out decent enough. The ride goes into self-piloting mode, and the passengers get arguably more up-and-down action than they’ve had in years.
But that’s where the honeymoon ends. Because in the very next moment…
Yeah, that happened.
While the ride was moving at considerable speed, half of the safety-harnesses on the ride suddenly came loose, causing affected passengers to be flung from their seats at high speed.
Now I hate to come off as non-empathetic, but I gotta say;
They probably broke something riding such a massive thing.
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Aftermath
Suffice it to say; corrective gestures had to be made. According to WorldOfBuzz, the ride was immediately shut down, as speculative claims that the operators of the ride had not ensured proper lockdown of the necessary harnesses beforehand ran amok.
The condition of the victims, however, is still unclear at this point in time.
We hope that all goes well for the victims of the accident.
Also, such incidents have a relatively low probability of happening, so don’t let it deter you from taking that ride, folks.
Make sure your safety harness is put on properly, and you should be just fine.
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Aunt Matilda: Keep saying that you delusional idiot. Let’s see your broken fingers and toes in a couple of years.
Oh, shut the fu-
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