This article is a love letter from me to me. It could also be one from me to you if you’re a part of the Diet Soda Gang.
Yes, the Diet Soda Gang. I’m sorry we’re not accepting members at the moment, it’s exclusively for pseudo health freaks like myself.
We take pride in our toxic consumption habits that we alleviate with a diet soda.
We also speak fluent sarcasm. It’s a talent we intellectuals have nurtured!
Alright, the Diet Soda Gang doesn’t really exist.
Everything above was utter brain dump – a pathetic attempt at starting out my stand-up comedy career. I wasn’t exactly kidding about the love letter part though…
To my dearest of friends and readers,
I urge you to put down that can of Diet Coke (commonly known as Coke Zero or Coke Light) because it’s only going to make things harder than they already are…healthwise. Yes, the phantom sugars are not so phantom after all.
Diet Sodas Are Actually Unhealthier Than Regular Sodas
The list could go on and on and I could be here typing for the whole of today. To cut to the chase, I’ve summarised just why diet sodas are bad-bad for you.
The main ingredient of these beverages are artificial sweeteners. Now we’ve been fed with the belief that these alternatives are meant to alleviate the harmful effects of actual sugar on our ageing bodies.
What it does is it tricks our brains into thinking that we’re consuming actual sugar or sucrose in medical terms.
According to Mayo Clinic, manufacturers even go to the extent of calling these sweeteners natural. They aren’t completely wrong. It’s not a marketing stunt, folks! Some sweeteners like Stevia are actually derived from natural substances.
Increases Risk of Stroke
However, according to a Business Insider article, research has found that drinking diet sodas can cause Metabolic Syndrome. In layman terms, metabolic syndrome is an ugly concoction of diseases. This includes high blood pressure, high blood sugar, and weight gain.
Metabolic syndrome increases a patients chance of contracting diabetes and heart disease. It also boosts the likelihood of a stroke!
As a matter of fact, a study once found that diet soda drinkers are more likely to suffer from a stroke as compared to regular soda drinkers.
It Makes You Fat!
The same article also mentioned that while diet sodas are known for containing fewer calories, the consumption of these “fake calories” could actually pose a disruption in one’s ability to metabolise.
Let’s simplify this: fake calories equals to excess calories equals to stored fats.
You heard that right! And you thought you were on the road to skinny legend goodness. Some things are just too good to be true, honey.
In other words, you’re doing less justice than you think you are by accompanying that upsized Whopper meal of yours with a cup of Diet Coke.
Yah, kind of like your mind would think, “Okay, no calorie for the drink so let’s pump up the calories on the food.”
Drink in Moderation
Being bombarded with this load of information can be truly terrifying. But don’t you just dispose your rack of diet sodas!
Like everything in life that is bad for you, consume these cans in moderation. By everything in life, I don’t mean give your toxic ex-boyfriends and girlfriends second chances!
So yes, diet sodas are the demons disguised as children with lollipops. Consume wisely, folks.
Or just drink plain water.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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