Woman Nearly Dies After Sex With Husband Because Of An Allergic Reaction To His Semen

By
Shawn Ambrose
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*in bed after making love*

Man: So… how was it? 

Woman: *holding head* I think I’m going to die

Man: *grins proudly* Wow, that good huh?

Woman: No, I think I’m actually going to die. 

Man: *blushes* Stop it, you. I know I was good but it can’t have been that go-

Woman: CALL THE DAMN HOSPITAL YOU IDIOT!

Woman Nearly Dies After Sex With Husband Because Of An Allergic Reaction To His Semen

As the ridiculous title states, a 46-year-old woman almost died after having sex with her husband because she had an allergic reaction to his semen.

Reader: You mean, one can be allergic to… semen?

Well, not quite. You see, the woman suffered an anaphylactic reaction to her husband’s semen because he was taking antibiotics.

Reader: Ah, the world makes sense again.

Dizziness after sex

According to the Independent, the Baltimore woman started experiencing dizziness, diarrhoea, itchy hands and feet, and severe sweating after having sex with her husband one day.

Worried, she rushed to the emergency department. Doctors initially thought she was suffering from sepsis because she had low blood pressure. So, she was put on drips and given various antibiotics.

I’m not septic, I’m dying

But upon further examination, doctors realized the woman was actually suffering from anaphylactic shock.

Now, this is no small matter. An anaphylactic shock is an extreme, often life-threatening allergic reaction to a substance to which the body has become hypersensitive.

It can be caused by food allergies, drug allergies, and even stinging insects. And if you don’t get treated in time, you could die.

Penicillin allergy

The woman’s husband, the one who provided the seemingly harmless but deadly semen, was treating a bacterial infection with an antibiotic called nafcillin, which contains penicillin.

The problem was that his wife had a history of penicillin allergy since she was a child. So, when the woman came into contact with her husband’s seminal fluid, which was concentrated with penicillin, it triggered the woman’s extreme allergic reaction.

Survived the reaction

Fortunately, the woman survived, and was discharged with an EpiPen after her symptoms improved.

Doctors also advised her not to have any sexual intercourse with her husband until at least one week after he finished taking his antibiotics.

I wouldn’t blame her if she’s too scared to be intimate with her husband for a while. Imagine being afraid to have sex because you might die.

PSA for the love monkeys

If your lover is taking some medication you’re allergic to, keeping away from their meds isn’t enough. As hard as it is, you’ll have to refrain from getting it on like a wanton with them until a week after they’re done with their medication. Until then, keep it in your pants.

Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:

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Shawn Ambrose
Email: [email protected]