Here in Goody Feed, we like to pose to each other random ‘What Would You Do’ questions because we’re funny that way. And in this particular instance, someone asked me:
“If you were refused entry onboard a train because of some durians you were carrying, what would you do?”
Unsurprisingly, I said I will throw them all away and get on the train. Now do not be mistaken, for it’s not because my great-grandparents are dying within a minute and I absolutely have to catch the train to see them for the last time. Instead, I just hate durians with all my heart, and so I wouldn’t think twice about throwing the little bastards away.
(Read this article to unearth this writer’s unbridled hate for the fruit. And yes, he’s a Singaporean who has served NS.)
Yet, unbeknownst to me, someone, somewhere, was answering the question I faced… in a physical way. And to my utmost surprise…
She chose to open the durian and eat it right there on the spot.
Though if there’s one thing for sure, that’s one train station I wouldn’t want to visit anytime soon.
GIMME THE DEETS
According to Shanghaiist, a woman had tried to bring a durian aboard a railway station in the Zhejiang city of Quzhou when security stopped her. For obvious reasons, I would gather.
As it was, it led to a Bandersnatch-esque decision-making moment for her.
- Abandon the poor durian
- Kick the security guard in the butt and GTA her way aboard
- Bribe with some durian flesh
- Take a later train
- Eat it there and then
Now as I mentioned, I would’ve definitely picked the first. But not this particular lady, who was so keen to enjoy the fruits of her labour that she picked not the first, not the second, not the third, not the fourth, but the fifth.
Borrowing a saw (why there’s one at the train station I have no idea), she hacked the fruit open before proceeding to indulge in its juicy flesh.
Although ‘indulge’ would be an understatement, considering how she somehow finished the whole thing… and turned up to catch her train.
Who this amazing woman is, we might never know.
But if you, like me, thought that it’s a first…
You’re wrong. So wrong.
For back in 2016, another legendary woman swallowed not 1, but 5kg of durian at the Anhui train station after being halted by security for the same reason. In fact, she persevered despite her nose beginning to overflow from all the heat; and only consented to stop upon the arrival of her train.
And if you thought those were the only two, you’re so… wrong again. For the following year, another, as my friend would probably call her, chamption devoured two durians on the spot after being stopped by security at the Sichuan train station.
So guys…
If you’re wondering what the moral of the story is, it’s that…
You probably shouldn’t buy durians before boarding the train.
Not unless you’re aspiring to be like Zermatt Neo.
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