Guys, hereโs a friendly tip:
Never behave suspiciously around your girlfriends or wives. Never.
โWhy? Whatโs it to them? Whatโs it to you?โ you demand.
In response, I simply point at the article headline you clearly gazed at before proceeding here.
Thatโs why, peeps. ๐
After all, blue balls are still better than no balls.
Woman Stabs Husbandโs Testicles In His Sleep Because She Suspected Him Of Cheating
In Singapore, women tend to throw tantrums when their hubbies go astray. But it seems that over in Sri Lanka, they go for a more logical approach:
Stabbing men in the balls. Free-flow.
According to Kwong Wah Daily and The Star, a Sri Lankan woman had suspected her husband of cheating on her. After a heated argument which presumably sent her into a blind rage, the woman reportedly reached for a knife when he fell asleepโฆ
And stabbed him in the neck and testicles.
Wow, thatโs dark.
According to the reports, the incident had transpired in the coupleโs rented home in Meru in the early hours of Thursday morning (12 September 2019). Apparently, she fled the scene after stabbing him, effectively leaving him for dead.
Damn, thatโs brutal. Mortal Kombatโs just a video game?
Think again.
Thankfully, the man is now in stable condition, though his injuries were undeniably severe. At the moment, heโs believed to be undergoing treatment at the Raja Permaisuri Bainun Hospital.
No clue whether Fatherโs Day is still a possibility though.
The Hunt For The Elusive Ball-Stabber
According to Acting Ipoh OCPD Supt Mohamad Nordin Abdullah, the weapon that was used in the assault was swiftly recovered, and the police are now actively looking for the manโs wife.
The incident will reportedly be investigated under Section 326 of the Penal Code and Section 18 of the Domestic Violence Act 1994.
Donโt know what that is, but when you see Penal Code, you know itโs serious shit.
Moral Of The Story
Lest you havenโt gotten it, the moral of the storyโs pretty simple.
Guys, stay true to your significant other. If you wanna cheat, make sure to break things off properly before you embark on your little Dora The Explorer adventures.
And girls, please abstain from knives, even if your significant other was caught bedding thirty grandmas in one night. After allโฆ
Why risk life behind bars, for an asshole who doesnโt deserve any more of your time?
So do the right thing, ladies. Your happiness triumphs all. Ditch the anger, hatred, and be one with the wind.
โYouโre just scared youโll kena the same thing right?โ my colleague smirked.