10 Types of Classmates You Confirm-Plus-Chop Have in Your School

In every school, every class, there seems to be certain categories that everyone fall into, without fail. I don’t mean to stereotype (actually I do), but these categories work, and are too true to ignore.

(I’m also terrible with names, so you’re just gonna have to suck it up, fatboy from sec 2)

So here we go, 10 types of classmates you have definitely seen in your schools.

1. Sleeper

You’re quite sure you’ve never really seen this guy’s eyes properly before. That’s because they’re always asleep, especially in class. They have taken sleeping to another level, and can sleep unnoticed, sometimes even right under the teachers’ noses.

Not just in class, they sleep during breaks, during CCAs, and on their way home. It seems like every time you look in their direction, their eyes are closed and soft snoring can be heard.

How did they even get from class to [insert random location in school]? Does sleeping a lot give you teleportation powers?

2. Bufflord

To them, every lesson is gun lesson, baby. What guns? These guns, baby.

Usually at this point of the conversation they’ll be too occupied with kissing and admiring their own biceps to notice you slipping away. And thank God for that too, since you were stuck with them in a discussion (more like a monologue) about protein powder.

Every period where there are no lessons, they can be found lifting in their natural habitat, the school gym. When you enter school, they’re exercising. When you leave school, they’re in the gym. You’re pretty sure they sleep on the bench press.

3. Mama Shop

Lelong, lelong! *cue bells ringing*

Probably one of your favourite classmates/schoolmates. This person is basically a mobile mama shop, with everything you can possibly imagine for class. I’m not just talking about stationary to borrow, or copies of notes, or extra foolscap paper.

I’m talking real useful things like snacks, tissue paper, drinks, and everything you can find in a grocery store, probably.

I think there was once I spotted one of them selling fresh veggies.

4. Antisocial

You usually need to actively search to find them. In class, this is reasonably easy, as they just sit themselves right at the back, trying their best to look invisible. Just try not to make eye contact, lest they freak out and disappear below their tables like a frightened animal.

After class, however, it becomes significantly harder to find them. They disappear before even the fastest of you as the bell rings for end of class, and fade into another world (probably). If you don’t keep an eye on them, the next time you get to even see a hair on their head would be next lesson.

And don’t even think about talking to them. They can tell, and then would disappear long before you even start looking.

5. Perv

*cue wolf-whistling*

These (usually guys, but I’m already trying very hard not to stereotype so cut me some slack, yo) people only have eyes for you. And you. And you too, over there, hiding under that table. Of course, that’s assuming you’re attractive enough to catch their attention in the first place.

If you’re the type to wear tight-fitting clothes, or for the ladies, shorter skirts and shorts, they have their eyes on you. You probably can guess what they’re thinking about, but it sickens you.

Some of you might even be one of them. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. Eye candies, amirite?

6. Saviour

Automatic best friend for the lazy students (or any student, really). They’re usually the super obedient ones, who would show up to every lecture and every tutorial and every lesson, so when there’s attendance taking, they’re usually the ones ensuring everyone is “present”.

They’re the source of teachers’ confusion as to how their classes are always so small. They swear the lecture theatre can fit 500 people, and apparently 500 students are present, but the lecture theatres are always half-full – or only filled with saviours.

7. Nerd

Usually this coincides with the saviour, but not necessarily. These guys’ middle names are probably ‘study’. Every waking moment is used to its fullest potential, as they look at nothing but their notes. Every piece of homework is submitted on time, and in every lecture they’re sitting right at the front.

They seem to stay back every single day too, to study. Next morning, when you arrive, they don’t seem to have moved from their spot at all, whether it’s in the canteen, at a random table, or in a classroom. They also usually wear glasses so thick it’s bulletproof.

8. ‘Genius’

One of the most hated type of students—those who don’t seem to study at all, yet top the class consistently. They like to say things like “Don’t need to study lah”, “Study for what?” and “I don’t study”. Which makes their straight As so unbelievable and so much worse.

You sometimes (oh who am I kidding, it’s always, isn’t it?) wish you could punch them in their smug faces, so they stop bullshitting. They must be studying like crazy at home, right? They can’t possibly be doing this well if they’re actually not studying, right?

9. Information Broker

Ah yes, the notorious gossip king/queen. This person is nigh omniscient in school, and knows so many secrets people should really be more afraid of them than they actually are. But somehow, they just look so harmless as they scurry around digging for the latest, juiciest news.

If you need to know who your crush likes, they’re your best bet. They can probably also tell you who they’ve liked in the past, where do they live, what are their living habits, and where they went at 3:45 p.m. yesterday.

You should probably take care not to piss this one off.

10. Rich Kid

Every school seems to have one of these. Sometimes they’re humble, and you can’t usually tell immediately they’re the kid of some tycoon or something. Other times, however, these people can be really obnoxious. Every day they enter school in a different car, and they change smartphones like you change contact lenses.

They always seem to have a large crowd of friends around them, where he becomes the de facto leader of the bunch. After all, the one with the money holds the power.

You hate him for it, but yet you’re so jealous. It must feel so good to be born rich.

Depending on your school, there may be more stereotypes. This is in no way an exhaustive list, so you can feel free to add in your own. Just… write it down in your own notebook or blog or something.  You don’t have to send it to us.

We’ve done a video on this topic. Check this out! ;D

This article was first gpublished on goodyfeed.com

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Wen Xianda

Wen Xianda

Xianda plays way too much video games. Seriously, somebody should do something. Otherwise, he's either writing or looking for the next game. He doesn't see the sun much, unless it's for good food, the only thing that gets him out of the house.
Wen Xianda