Before we start, just a quick question: do you love coffee?
Or to be more specific; do you love coffee like how you love your girlfriends?
If you do, well rejoice, because just like how your girlfriend has those teasing pieces of lingerie saved for special nights, there’s also a transparent coffee in the market right now. And the best thing about it? You don’t have to wait for one of those special nights to open it.
Got your attention yet? Because I know I got mine. So without further ado, let’s get started with 8 Facts About The Transparent Coffee That’s Set to be the Next Food Fad!
1. What’s it all about?
So it as it turns out, brewery and soft-drink company Asahi recently (just earlier this month, in fact) released bottled “cafe latte flavoured water” in Japan.
According to Asahi, “This colourless latte has the aroma of an espresso and a mature, startling sweetness that lingers after each sip.”
This comes off the back of transparent milk tea (that was released last September) and transparent lemon tea (even before that), which were produced by Japanese brewing and distilling company Suntory.
And honestly they tasted pretty diluted if our previous reviewers were to be believed, so I’m really doubting whether the latte will genuinely have the aroma of an espresso and a mature whatever after each sip.
2. What does the drink contain?
Officially called Asahi Clear Latte from Delicious Water, the drink contains expresso extract, milk-ingredient components and whey mineral concentrate. As well as good ol’ pure water, of course.
(Note: according to another site, the drink contains water, sugar, whey minerals, table salt, coffee flavouring acidulant)
Also, it supposedly contains zero caffeine, no fat and is low calorie.
Broken down analogy: so yeah, you’re essentially getting an uber-healthy drink that reeks of expresso and a little bit of milk.
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3. What does it taste like? Coffee, tea or me?
Fortunately, the drink seems to taste more like what it was modelled after than anything else. According to several online reviews, it seems like the drink tastes similar to any standard bottled coffee drink.
Admittedly the flavour is milder than the norm, but Japanese news site SoraNews24 interjected that the drink has a supposedly “understated, semi-sweet bitterness” aftertaste.
Meanwhile, Japanese media outlet Grape expressed that the drink has a “rich consistency about on par with most iced coffee”. This, however, was followed up by a statement adding that some may find it too diluted.
Although to be fair, it’s hard to get something real concentrated when the name’s literally Asahi Clear Latte from Delicious Water. Goddamn never thought I will ever see the words ‘delicious water’.
In true Japanese fashion, the drink featured a rather quirky dance music video with an admittedly catchy beat.
＼ニュータイプラテ／第5弾のオリジナルムービーが公開！大人向けのやさしい甘さとすっきりした後味の新しいラテ、「アサヒ クリアラテ」が5/8(火)に新発売♪デコラティブな衣装を脱ぎ捨てた"Greedy Woman"渡辺さんは、ついに"Clear Woman"に変身！クリアでシンプルな姿となった直美のキレキレダンスは圧巻！Fullバージョンのムービーも公開！特設サイトを要チェック！You make me CLEAR！http://www.asahiinryo.co.jp/oishiimizu/sp/clteaser#クリアラテ #直美もクリア
Posted by アサヒ飲料 ASAHI SOFTDRINKS on Wednesday, 18 April 2018
Is the drink supposed to taste like five dancers sweating it off to a cool beat? Because that’s what I’m getting from this whole thing.
And here’s a full Youtube video in case you want more of that ass-cracking bottle of clear Latte.
So if you were unaware, Japan has kinda gotten swamped by a recent trend of transparent sweet drinks, which are supposedly less sweet and contain fewer calories.
Nevertheless, if you’re aiming to feel better about yourself with something that’s indefinitely healthier and doesn’t taste of calories, it might be worth a shot. The exact nutritional values stand as follows:
- 600ml (20 fl oz)
- Caffeine: 0%
- Zero fat
- 10kcal per 100ml
- Natural mineral water from Japan
- Coffee from Ethiopia
Additionally, it might also serve to up your status in the office, as apparently…
So apparently, the drinks have an additional benefit of being useful in the Japanese workplace. No, not because they clear up your mental clarity or something. Rather, it’s because they supposedly allow employees to seem “more professional”.
Yeah, I know. But then again, this is the same country that views sleeping employees as being hardworking, so to each his/her own huh?
7. So where do you get it?
Well, if Captain Obvious was here he would be like “Japan”, but let’s face it Singapore’s nothing like Japan (least of all its train system oh shit sorry not sorry SMRT). As such, the only ways of procuring the drink are really only these few:
- Asking a friend to get it for you while he/she is in Japan
- Asking a friend to fly to Japan just to get you the drink
- Flying to Japan specially for the drink
- Using online shopping methods like Airfov
Incidentally, we recommend the last one if you can’t use the first. You can shop for it using Japantrendshop, where a pack of 12 is going for US$21 ($28.26). This means that every bottle (20 fl oz) costs $2.355. Not the cheapest at any rate, but I guess you pay for the originality (?) and the health (?)
Either that, or wait for a distributor to bring it to Singapore. Trust me, I can see the future: someone is going to see the opportunity and bring it in.
8. So what next?
With clear latte the latest entry in the clear drink market, you can’t help but wonder what the next instalment will be. Chocolate? Vanilla? Or even beer? Hah, the ridiculousness of it all…
Oh shit, I just saw something. And you know what that whipper-snapping son of a website told me?
That’s right, it’s official; there’s going to be an honest to goodness transparent beer. The best thing about it? It will have zero alcohol, looks like water, tastes like alcohol and is actually suitable for the workplace.
Well, that’s it, guys. The future’s here. Drinking at work without consequences?
Sign me up.
Unfortunately, the drink will only be available from 19 June onwards, but hey.
If I waited 23 years for this moment, what’s one more month?
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