Think your Chinese essay was incomprehensible?
Wait until you see this.
On 18 October 2016, Facebook user Jewell Meows posted a picture of a Chinese email essay on the social media site.
The post gained instant traction, garnering over 2.1K likes and reactions, as well as 4.8K shares.
For non-Chinese readers, here’s a direct translation (take note that I surmised what she was trying to say and phrased it as such because I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean to say ‘You fat me’):
Sender: Wang Jia Hua ([email protected])
Receiver: Zhang Hai Yun ([email protected])
Date: 5 October 2016
Subject: Reply: Views on frequently being late for school
Hi! I’m fine, I’m pretty. You?
Today, I ate rice. It was very tasty. Tomorrow, I also want to eat rice because it’s very tasty. Eating rice is my interest.
In class, my mother’s school is very big! Day after day, I want to eat tasty rice, because my mother cooked the rice.
Shopping mall has rice, has meat, has people, I like.
Singapore has got tasty water, I love Singapore. I don’t know what you’re talking about, but, you’re my friend.
Sorry for my bad Chinese, you can accompany me, and say, you’re welcome. Very happy! I want an egg, can eat on my rice. Tasty.
I happened upon eggs that weren’t tasty before, I want to sleep because my heart hurts. Do you know? Cannot.
I speak English and “Tagalog”, not Chinese. Sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying. I’m not a nice person I cry.
Thank you, you’re very nice. I’m happy. Don’t cry. I love you.
End of translation.
You know; while I was translating it, I couldn’t help but wonder what the teacher’s expression looked like.
Here’s a wild guess:
Incredibly, the post is still generating attention one year later, with an influx of comments over the past 24 hours.
And the comment below pretty much sums up 90% of the comment section.
Honestly, my Chinese isn’t the best.
My written Chinese might be alright, but when I try to speak it, it sounds like a Zombie rapping one of Eminem’s songs. Hard to picture? Yeah, that’s the point.
This essay, however, takes things to a whole new level.
But I gotta admit; all that mention of food got me famished.
Tasty rice, anyone?
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This article was first published on goodyfeed.com
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Featured image: Facebook (Jewell Meows)