10 brutally real differences between life as a NSman and life as a NSF

Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:37 pm

All Singaporean men who have served National Service know that the difference between an NSF and an NSman is like green tea – Heaven and Earth. One is the lowest lifeform on the island, while the other can make the sergeants and officers cower in fear at times. Here’s how different their lives are in camp.

Mood
NSFs cower in fear everywhere they go. NSmen are really happy to take a break from their jobs and still get paid for it while doing absolutely zero brainwork.

Meals
NSFs look forward to wolfing down their meals at the cookhouse. NSmen look forward to leisurely eating their meals at the canteen.

Travel
NSFs march all over the place and sing Training to be Soldiers along the way. NSmen swagger all over the shop and whistle 欢喜就好.

Dressing
NSFs have to wear their No. 4s with their sleeves folded up to 4-finger length below the shoulder, and have to wear their headdress whenever they are not under shelter. NSmen wear uniforms that look like pyjamas and probably have lost their jockey caps or berets already.

Training schedule
NSFs have a rigorous training schedule planned so that they can complete their major exercise. NSmen plan their training schedule so that they can do as little as possible and go home early.

Training activities
While NSFs run their asses off at the SOC or spend most of their time huddling in a shellscrape, NSmen sweat their asses off queuing up at the stuffy E-mart to buy enough socks, shoes and towels to last half their lifetime or spend most of their time huddling in the bunk talking about work.

Doing work
Sergeants and officers bark commands and orders at NSFs. They negotiate politely with NSmen to complete the exercise without anyone getting hurt.

Safety
Medics run over to treat any cuts or injuries sustained by NSFs. NSmen run to medics to treat any nicks, bruises or perhaps just to hide in the safety rover.

Cleaning
NSFs clean the bunks and toilets thoroughly to prepare for a standby toilet or standby bed. NSmen spray a bit of water here and there and throw all their bedsheets and pillowcases at the unfortunate QM, who prays that he will get everything back.

Booking out
NSFs celebrate booking out because they’ve regained their freedom, if only for a weekend. NSmen groan when they book out because they have to go back home to face reality for the rest of the year.