Russia’s Roman Abramovich & Ukraine Peace Negotiators Allegedly Poisoned

First of, you can rest assured in the knowledge that no one died.

Because when I first caught sight of this headline, the first thought in my mind was:

This better not be the repeat of how World War 1 erupted, where some random Serbian assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire back when, or else things are going to get even worse.

Because that would just be bad luck, and it would make the whole practice of recording history really pointless. 

Similar Odd Symptoms Found on the Negotiation Team

On Monday (28 Mar), Wall Street Journal reported that sanctioned Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich and the Ukrainian peace negotiators seemed to be suffering symptoms of suspected poisoning after a meeting in Kyiv early this month.

Their symptoms included red eyes, constant and painful tearing, and peeling skin on their faces.

Or maybe it was the gunpowder and death in the air that was making the atmosphere dry?

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In any case, if they were really poisoned, they must have received assistance in time, because the threat to their lives didn’t stop them from working.

A person that was familiar with the inner goings told Reuters that Abramovich’s symptoms hadn’t impeded him from working at all.

In fact, the conditions of Abramovich, Crimean Tar lawmaker Rustem Umerov have only improved since, which means their lives aren’t in any significant danger.

The Kremlin government has mentioned that Abramovich has been involved in the peace talks early on between Russia and Ukraine, though the negotiations have been officially handed over to the respective diplomatic teams of each country.

Regardless, it’s good that we don’t have the blood of a Russian oligarch on Ukrainian lands, or it might give Putin more excuses (not that he really needs another), to continue his campaign in Ukrainian.

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