Beware of Plant-Based Meat Because It’s ‘Ultra-Processed, Says Meat Producers

If you’ve tried the Impossible Burger, you’d know that miracles do exist.

Despite using only plant-based ingredients, the geniuses over at Impossible Foods have managed to create a vegan burger that actually tastes like meat. You can check out our review of it here.

Meat lovers everywhere ran naked in the streets in jubilance after the Impossible Burger was launched.

You mean I can have the taste of meat without any of the health risks associated with its consumption? THE FUTURE IS HERE!

Unfortunately, as you know, life likes to destroy everything that brings us happiness.

Plant-Based Meat Is ‘Ultra-Processed, Says Meat Producers

“Beware of plant-based meat.”

This is the message the meat industry has for food lovers everywhere. The warning is part of a marketing campaign by the Centre for Consumer Freedom, a public relations firm whose financial supporters have included meat producers and others in the food industry.

This group has placed ads in The New York Times and other newspapers raising health concerns about plant-based meat substitutes like the Impossible Burger.

*shaking* How dare you question the impeccability of the Impossible Burger?

So, why is the meat industry saying plant-based meats are unhealthy? Bias, of course.

“Ultra-processed”

In their ads, the group called plant-based meat substitutes like the Impossible Burger and the Beyond Burger “ultra-processed imitations”.

Another ad asks “What’s hiding in your plant-based meat?” with a sad face made of two patties and sausage.

This is unacceptable for a number of reasons. Firstly, they’re sneakily using a sad face to appeal to the young emoji generation.

Secondly, asking “What’s hiding in your plant-based meat?” allows them to imply that there are unhealthy ingredients in plant-based meats without actually listing any of them; fearmongering, basically.

According to TODAYonline, one ad even compared plant-based burgers to dog food.

Dog: OK, that’s just mean, man.

Mr Will Coggin, the group’s managing director, wrote an opinion piece in USA Today, calling fake meats ultra-processed foods that can spur weight gain, even though the research on processed foods has not included plant-based meats.

Impossible Foods critical of campaign

The makers of the Impossible Burger, Impossible Foods, were quick to defend themselves, saying the campaign was misleading and fearmongering.

They maintain that plant-based meat alternatives are better for consumers and also for the environment, as it requires less land and water and produces fewer greenhouse gas emissions than meat from cattle.

They don’t see this new “disinformation” campaign as a bad thing though. For them, it just means that their competitors are getting worried.

“It’s a point of pride to have that organisation come after us,” said Mr Pat Brown, the company’s chief executive. “It’s hard to imagine a stronger endorsement.”

Meat lovers love fake meats

Impossible Foods may be right, because 90 per cent of plant-based meat consumers are meat eaters who believe the products are healthier and better for the environment, according to NPD Group, a market research firm.

Mr Darren Seifer, an analyst at NPD said that the new plant-based burgers “have replicated the burger experience without having to sacrifice the taste of the burger”.

“So now a lot of consumers feel like they have a healthier option, they are reducing the amount of meat they consume, and they just feel better about that.”

Exactly. Meat lovers don’t enjoy killing animals for kicks; they just happen to like the taste of meat. So, if we could have our meat and eat it too, wouldn’t that be ideal?

But are plant-based meats healthier?

Yes and no.

On the one hand, the Impossible and Beyond burgers have similar amounts of protein and calories when compared to a beef patty, but with less saturated fat and no cholesterol. They also contain fibre, which real meat does not.

However, compared to real beef, the two plant-based burgers are significantly higher in sodium, containing about 16 per cent of the recommended daily value.

There is, however, a clear body of evidence showing that eating red meat increases your risk of bowel cancer.

So, what do we do?

Eat some cardboard and be happy with it, unless you want to die young because it seems like everything tasty in this world is bad for us.