British PM Boris Johnson Married Fiancee on 29 May in Surprise, Secret Ceremony

Remember when we said Boris Johnson would get married on 30 July 2022? Well, news just dropped that the man married his fiancee, Carrie Symonds, on Saturday (29 May).

Guess he can’t keep to his word on his own wedding—you know, as if his wedding date was a Conservative Party election manifesto pledge

British PM Marries Fiancee in Secret Ceremony

The wedding, which was kept so secret it wasn’t even confirmed by the Prime Minister’s Office till the day after, was not publicised in advance and guests were invited last minute.

It came after a week of political drama, when his former chief adviser Dominic Cummings reported to a parliamentary committee that Johnson’s mismanagement of the COVID-19 pandemic had caused “thousands of unnecessary deaths.”

You know, all is good except when you consider Cummings was adviser until 13 November last year. You know, the pandemic had already largely happened.

Johnson evaded the allegations and branded them as pure fiction, and then sought to pacify public mistrust by happily entering his blissful matrimony. 

Westminster Cathedral in central London was allegedly suddenly closed to the public at about 1:30pm, and Symonds arrived soon after. The wedding, held behind closed doors, came at a time when England restricted weddings to no more than 30 participants, though I doubt that will matter to someone who wanted to get the coronavirus injected into his arm on live television to reassure the UK that COVID-19 was just a “scare story”.

There’s no reason to the secrecy or why he has to marry at this particular time. Which almost makes his marriage sound like… any other political decision or indecision he makes in office. You know, like when he promised no lockdowns for Christmas and… then proceeded to impose a lockdown for Christmas, all in two weeks’ time. 

This would be Johnson’s fourth marriage, after he divorced his previous wife, lawyer Marina Wheeler, with whom he had four children. 

He was also fired once from the Conservative Party’s policy team while the party was in opposition before 2010 for being dishonest about his extramarital affairs.

Which is surprising, because lying about his governmental affairs only seems to make the Conservative Party more loyal to him. After Cummings claimed industrial levels of lying in his government’s handling of the coronavirus, public approval ratings… increased by six percent. 

Yep, you can’t make this up.

Feature Image: Twitter (@JoePorterUK)