I got the shock of my day when I received this headline from my editor, BH.
According to this Stomp report, an unsuspecting Eunos family found a 3 metre-long python in their HDB flat which resulted in 2 hours of helpless panic on 30 December 2018.
Now, I won’t deny that a 3-metre long python is indeed scary.
Not especially when my brother who was born in the year of the snake still terrorizes me till this day.
I’m 48 and he is 51 this year FYI. Just kidding.
What took me aback was really this-
-That this was the longest, goddamned, most-detailed Stomp article I have ever seen in my life.
I was always taught that the form of a text/work/art piece should always mirror the content; this piece clearly did.
Now, read on.
Long made Short
Because this article was so long, I’m compelled to break it down for you in chronological point form.
Just think of it like a python with earthworm segments.
Yikes
So here goes:
- Wife screams at 6:45 AM and runs into bedroom to wake Mr Goh up
- Mr Goh heads to the kitchen and finds a 3-metre reticulated python in the toilet of their Eunos masionette
- Daughter and son-in-law wake up and call the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore (AVA)
- At the same time, Mr Goh calls the Marine Parade Town Council (MPTC)
- MPTC tells him to call a pest control company to handle the matter
- Meanwhile, AVA tells daughter that they would be sending help
- Multiple pest control companies do not pick up their call and some stated that they were unable to handle a python
- One company agrees to help
- Some time later, when the employee turns up, he has to call for reinforcement as the python was too large to be handled alone
- At 8 AM, the team arrives, catches the python in 30 minutes and releases it into the forested area
MPTC, AVA, EMSU
When The New Paper (TNP) contacted the pest company, its spokesman said the family was ushered out of their home as it was a “dangerous operation.”
Mr Goh, who had paid $400 for the operation, said:
“We felt really helpless. The snake could have bitten us. Our lives could have been at stake while we were given the runaround.
“If this were to happen again, we hope we can be pointed in the right direction, or maybe someone could have come to be with us until the relevant help arrives.”
Mr Goh’s gripe was that clear instructions weren’t given to him and he and his family had felt at a lost.
The Stomp article further states that an “MPTC spokesman told TNP that Mr Goh had called its Essential Maintenance Services Unit (EMSU) hotline, which handles requests such as lift rescue, electrical power and water supply disruption” and added that AVA was indeed the right authority to call for matters relating to animal nuisance.”
The spokesman acknowledged that its EMSU customer service agent “could have done better by providing more information to better assist the resident in that situation” and added they were “working with the service provider to improve this process.”
In response, AVA said that their officer was on the way to their Eunos maisonette when Mr Goh’s daughter called to inform that the snake has been caught.
AVA added that the public can contact AVA at 1800-476-1600 or Acres at 9783-7782 to request for assistance should there be a snake sighting in premise.
Normally, I’ll end the article with some wisecrack.
But really, at this point in time, I’m just too tired to do so.
Boss, just file this under boringnews.com okay?
Thanks.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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