Loanshark Ran Out of Urine & Shit So He Improvised With Chocolate & Green Tea


While I’ve never had the opportunity to be a loan shark runner, I’ve seen enough movies and TV shows to know the three unspoken rules of being one.

  1. Always clear tasks; fail and your sister will be kept as collateral.
  2. Never get attached to targets. Get attached and your whole family will be kept as collateral.
  3. Never starve yourself, and always stay hydrated. This is so that you will never run out of urine or shit. Run out and your whole ancestry will be kept as collateral.

Yep, sounds about right.

So, what if… god forbids, you run out of urine & shit to ‘bless’ your targets?

Well, just gotta improvise. Like Loan Shark A over here.

With a mix of melted chocolate, kaya and green tea, no less.

Now that’s some sweet-smelling shit and urine.

What happened?

According to Yahoo News, Sittaraman Sam Kris Carbonel had been instructed to hurl human faeces and urine at a hawker stall.

However, he had not been provided with the specified materials, and as a result had to come up with his own version of sugar, spice and everything nice.

Or in layman’s terms, melted chocolate, kaya and green tea.

The ‘sweet’ act, however, did not seem as such to the court. The 26-year-old was sentenced to 16 months’ jail and six strokes of the cane on 7 November at the States Court. He had pleaded guilty to two counts of harassment under the Moneylenders Act, as well as one unrelated charge of criminal intimidation.

Three other similar charges were taken into consideration during sentencing.

How did it all start?

Sittaraman had apparently been facing financial troubles when he was approached by Sabtu Yazid, a 25-year-old whom he got to know in March 2017, to function as a runner for an unlicensed moneylender known only as “Larry”.

His job scope included “splashing paint at debtors’ places of residence”, “using bicycle locks to lock up their homes” and “scribbling messages on their walls”.

He went through with four different assignments between 11.30 p.m. on 24 July and 7:00 a.m. on 25 July at different HDB blocks in Bukit Panjang, Boon Lay, Choa Chu Kang and Jurong East. Each job netted him $200.

The fifth assignment, in which he had thrown the “shit”, got him $300.

It wasn’t his first time facing the law

On 2 April, Sittaraman had actually been arrested for charging at his brother while holding a knife.


This act contributed to two months of his total jail sentence.

Moral of the story

Don’t ever throw chocolate at people.

Just to be on the safe side, ya know?

Since you’re here, why not watch a video about an NTU student who went all out to impress his crush, only to end up in…tragedy? Here, watch it and do remember to share it (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel)!

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Featured image: The Spruce / HealthyWomen