Mala Toothpaste That’s Sold in Taobao Got Sold Out Within 3 Days

Image: Leng Suan Ling Taobao

Are you dreaming of hotpot you have trouble sleeping?

Did our previous hotpot recommendation ruin your dieting?

Specifically, are you thinking of Mala?

Fret not; just brush your teeth and you can get hotpot flavours in your mouth, allowing you to sleep soundly, lulled by the soothing spice of Mala.

Image: Leng Suan Ling Taobao

Leng Suan Ling (冷酸灵), a Chinese toothpaste company, has created this limited-edition Mala toothpaste together with hotpot chain Xiao Long Kan (小龙坎).

And it comes in 3 different spice levels:

  • 标准中度辣 Standard Medium Spicy
  • 川渝微微辣 Chuanyu Mild Spicy
  • 传闻变态辣 Legendary Hentai Spicy

Wah, this writer dunno how to arrange. Mix up spice level and put medium before mild.

Wrong. Standard Medium Spicy is the China national standard for “Medium Spicy”. Chuanyu Mild Spicy is the “Mild Spicy” for 川渝老火锅 or Chuanyu Steamboat, a Chongqing brand, and even spicier.

Legendary Hentai Spicy is probably as the name goes. Only Hentai (Japanese for pervert or abnormal people) will go for that.

It sold out with good reviews

3,957 sets were sold during the first three days on 9 May, and now all 4,000 sets were completely sold.

Image: Tuyou

Unless this is one of those Chinese things where anything below 100% is a failure, it appears that users are happy with the product, receiving an average of 4.9/5 stars.

Image: Leng Suan Ling Taobao

A user was helpful enough to show us what the toothpaste looks like. My translation for the review:

Do you know that if you nod when you suggest something, the listener would tend to agree? Here’s a video on the ten ways to control others with psychological hacks:

“In the pictures, from top to bottom is Standard Medium Spicy, Chuanyu Mild Spicy, then Legendary Hentai Spicy. In general, you can taste the hotpot sauce flavour in all 3 spice levels. Similar to other kinds of toothpaste, it also leaves you with a pleasant cooling feeling, and leaves the aftertaste of the hotpot sauce, which feels incompatible but it really lifts your spirits… As for the spiciness… I can only say… Standard Medium Spicy won’t give me the feeling of wanting to rinse my mouth… Chuanyu Mild Spicy left me with a mindset that I will salivate from the spice after rinsing my mouth (Translator’s note: I’m unsure whether this means it is delicious, or that it is damaging his tongue)… As for Legendary Hentai Spicy… it’s a little choking… better don’t eat it… After continuous brushing 3 times… I feel that my mouth is **…”

Image: Leng Suan Ling Taobao

The packaging looks pretty nice. My translation:

“The packaging is so nice. Like a gift box. The toothpaste design is also so good. It looks so festive. Taste…how to say, I haven’t brushed, but I tasted a little non-spicy sweetness… A Sichuanese definition of non-spicy”

“I’m wrong. I chose the Hentai Spicy, full of confidence. ** awful. Can’t really say how spicy. Just sweet and spicy and numbing in the mouth, it’s like a different feeling from eating hotpot. Ah, not saying anymore I think my mouth is swollen.”

“Flavourful enough. Can be a bit spicier. I’m not afraid. HAHAHAHAHA”

A probably sarcastic comment. From the poor grammar and excessive use of emojis, which I assume is from the doing of using the Legendary Hentai Spicy.

“It’s not spicy at all… I brushed the Hentai Spicy 😂😂😂😂 Aesthetic value is not bad hahahaha it’s fine at all really just go use it to brush 😂😂😂, and you’ll know what it tastes like 😂😂😂😂, don’t breath while brushing 😂😂😂😂 you will choke 😂😂😂😂 the packaging is so nice 😂😂😂😂”

Leng Suan Ling’s view on Legendary Hentai Spice levels

A Sohu user ” 重庆购物狂.” got curious about how spicy Legendary Hentai Spicy actually is and decided to message Leng Suan Ling themselves.

“May I ask, specifically, what would you like to ask?”

“Hi, can I ask, how spicy is this Hentai Spicy?”

“Oh, it’s a little bit spicier.”

“Is it acceptably spicy? The page didn’t specify exactly how spicy it is.”

“Hotpot flavours are meant to be spicy, split into 3 levels, but the actual spiciness depends on individual tolerance. You will feel the heat, your gums or cheeks swollen, or some sharp pain. Frequent eaters of spicy food can accept it, but those who can’t will have to strongly consider.”

“Haha, very graphic, I also like to ask, after brushing it tastes like hotpot?”

“Yep.”

Image: Sohu user 重庆购物狂.

So, the official statement is that it isn’t fun to taste the Hentai Spicy.

The culinary adventurer in me wonders if the toothpaste can be a good replacement in the actual hotpot.

You can keep a lookout for the product on Leng Suan Ling’s Taobao.

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