Previously on Asian Horror Stories: The Bubble That Doesn’t Pop, we had bubble teas growing where they shouldn’t and the triggering of hidden fears.
And I quote, as I have said, “Soon they will be growing on our walls and floors as well. There will be no escape.”
But I was wrong. Bubble tea didn’t grow outside of us. Bubble tea grew inside of us and we became bubble tea.
For humans have now decided to get bubble tea hair, and this will be our final form in the human evolution timeline:
Milk tea hair is a thing in Asia now
I’m mostly kidding since it looks nicer than it sounds:
And then you’re probably thinking,
Isn’t that just normal dye? Can drink meh?
Which you’re not wrong about since that colour can be described as milky brown with ash tones.
So to the people like this writer who can only look at the hair and say it’s ‘not bad’, it doesn’t actually remind me of milk tea.
The 2019 trend seems to have started from Instagram
According to Allure, there’s a wave of Instagram posts from Japan and Singapore with the hashtag #milkteahair. And of course milk tea got a lot of types, so different colourists have different shades and varying hue to achieve that milk-tea hue.
Yes, the hashtag came from Singapore as well. Ravissant Hair Studio in Singapore said that the hair seen below used “L’Oréal Blond Studio lightener and toned with L’Oréal’s Majicontrast in Magenta Red”.
This trend is apparently all over Asia, so I got to searching “奶茶髮色”, “奶茶色头发” and “ミルクティブラウン髪”, and it’s legit real.
But if you were reading between the lines where I clued “2019” in the section title, you’d be expecting…
Milk tea hair was a thing long ago
liese Prettia, a Japanese brand of hair dyes actually sold Bubble Hair Dye in Milk Tea Brown, and this is a review way back in 2014.
This dye is actually sold in Watsons in Singapore if you’re opting for the DIY route.
And if you’re wondering why the shades are so different, it’s because even in milk tea, there are different shades.
4 shades of milk tea hair
The only acceptable hairstyle for patriotic Singaporean males is No. 1 or high slope, and natural black or detention barracks. So my knowledge of milk tea hair is stolen from ET Fashion, which is a Taiwanese site.
Vanilla Milk Tea 香草奶茶
This is your everyday, normal milk tea. Strong and robust, with light floral undertones and good to pair with any food.
Maple Milk Tea 楓糖奶茶
Sweet smelling and caramel-like, some might describe the taste to be a little woody. The maple syrup gives the milk tea a slightly reddish hue.
Hold on, we’re still talking about hair right?
Smoked Milk Tea 煙燻奶茶
Ah yes, smoked tea. Most famous which is Lapsang souchong from Fujian, China and traditionally smoked over pinewood. As a roasted black tea, the colours are a bit deeper.
Dark Roasted Milk Tea 重烘奶茶
Take roasted tea even further and you have a deep, smoky flavour that is slightly sweeter with notes of charcoal. The resultant blend is also darker in colour.
And now that I have successfully mind tricked your brain into associating any shade of brown hair with a bubble tea flavour, my work here is done.
Just don’t go drinking other people’s hair.
If you watch at least 10 minutes of brain rot content daily, you must know this:
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