I was faced with a first-world problem yesterday.
After receiving some budget from Goody Feed to review a movie for #MovieMonday, I was given a choice between Sadako and Godzilla. One’s a chiobu while another is a cute kitten.
The dilemma is real.
“Go for Sadako,” my colleague, whose real name is Andrea but we all call him Android, said. “I wrote an article about this movie and promised readers that we’ll review it in seven days. If not I’ll die of an heart attack.”
“Go for Godzilla,” another colleague, whom I shall name Hua Wei because he’s not on good terms with Android, said. “Hollywood vs Japan movie. Need to think one meh?”
In the end, I decided to let the cinema choose for me: whichever is more popular would get my Goody Feed’s money.
And by the headline, you should’ve known the answer.
But the question is: did I make the right choice?
Non-Godzilla Fan Watching the Movie
Truth to be told, I was leaning towards Sadako because I’ve not watched the first Godzilla movie.
According to my BFF Google, it’s a sequel to the 2014 Godzilla rebooted movie, as there have been countless Godzilla movies made in Japan since 1954.
The first Godzilla movie was a commercial success, earning USD$529 million with a production budget of USD$160 million.
So, for a start, would a non-Godzilla fan understand the sequel, and secondly, would it be as successful as its predecessor?
Let’s find out.
Dark, Loud & Long-Winded
Even when I’ve not watched the first Godzilla, I can understand the story so anyone can watch it.
The problem is, you can watch it but you shouldn’t if you’re not into big monsters.
Rotten Tomatoes, the go-to for the most honest reviews, gave it a 40% approval rating: not exactly a good score, but at least it’s not 0% (yes, there are films with 0% approval rating).
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that those 40% love big monsters and have tigers as pets in their house, because it certainly didn’t get my approval (not that they care, anyway).
The movie starts off pretty cool, with some introduction that seems to prep us for an epic story ahead.
But as time goes by, I’m looking for the first-forward button.
Despite the fights that are in “slow motion” (because they’re big), it’s a messy and dark. I didn’t even know who’s who, and the only thing I can remember is the loud sounds made by the monsters.
The fights are so bad, I’d rather watch paint dry; at least I can see the liquid turning into solid if I stare deep enough.
Maybe these fights would look cool in 1954, when special effects were almost non-existence. But in 2019, we want fast-paced action with witty dialogue (think: MCU), not big creatures that cover the entire frame and leaving everything to my imagination.
It doesn’t help that the story is rather thin: meaningful, yes, but it feels like it’s written by some kid who’s fallen in love with big monsters. It doesn’t help that it started so well and spiralled into this titanic diarrhea.
So, have I made a wrong choice when I chose this pet that roars than the Japanese chiobu?
I won’t know because I’ve not watched the Japanese chiobu movie, but I think it’s not difficult to make a movie that’s better than this.
Rating: 1.5/5
I’m only giving it an additional 0.5 because the special effects are cool and pretty realistic. But it’s 2019; is there a Hollywood movie with fake special effects?
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