There’s Now a PPAP Song About Washing Hands for COVID-19 & It’s Just As Weird

There are some mysteries in life that may never be answered:

Like what was there before the Big Bang?

Or is there alien life on other planets?

But at least experts have some idea of how to answer these questions. There’s is one question, however, that will continue to boggle humanity for centuries to come:

What the f**k is going on here?

When this song first came out, people were entertained, but painfully confused.

What is an apple pen?

What is a pineapple pen?

And when you mix the apple pen and pineapple pen, how in the hell did you get a “Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen”? Shouldn’t it just be an Apple-Pineapple pen?

These are questions I thought I left back in 2016, but they keep coming back to haunt me every time I see an apple, pineapple, pen, or Japanese man.

We never thought it’d happen, but this shiny gold man is back with a new song, and it’s much, much weirder.

There’s Now a PPAP Song About Washing Hands for COVID-19 & It’s Just As Weird

You may think that YouTube is just for watching cute cat videos or people getting angry while playing video games, but it has another, much more important function: saving lives.

Yes, because when the Covid-19 virus started ravaging the world and experts told us to wash our hands, people needed music videos on YouTube to remind them how to do so, because it’s such a complex activity.

Why else would there be a Baby Shark hand washing video?

And now Pikotaro has made his own video to teach people how to wash hands.

The video starts out like you might expect, with Pikotaro doing his trademark dance to the instantly recognisable music from PPAP.

He then moves on to the important handwashing lesson:

I have a hand

I have a soap

Now unlike PPAP, he doesn’t just put his hands together and make a sound you’d usually hear in a 50 Shades movie.

No, what actually happens after he puts his hands together might be the most annoying thing you have ever experienced in your life.

He just repeats the word “wash” for about 14 seconds.

Yes, I know, we should wash our hands.

Ok, I get it you can stop now.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.

He then goes on to repeat the whole thing, after which I very happily sliced off my ears.

An Instant Hit

According to The New Paper, the video was among the top five in a Twitter trend ranking in Japan on Monday (6 April).

It also has over 2,700,000 views on YouTube, despite only coming out a few days ago.

Weird videos like this are exactly what we need during this Covid-19 pandemic: seeing other people slowly go insane makes us feel better about losing our own minds while staying at home.

The man behind the gold animal print costume, Kazuhito Kosaka, also had good intentions, reminding us, in the most annoying way possible, to maintain good hygiene.

Pikotaro ends the video with one simple but inspiring phrase: we will win.

I assume he’s talking about Covid-19, but with this man, you can never really tell.