When Phase One was announced, bubble tea addicts – meaning the whole of Singapore – popped their eyes to look for any wordings to indicate that bubble tea shops can be opened.
And then the government had to throw a hard punch to our faces by saying that bubble tea shops can’t be reopened during Phase One.
Is this how cruel adults work? Phase One being the same as Circuit Breaker is like your girlfriend asking for a breakup, but instead of saying it’s a breakup, she says it’s just that she needs “time to be alone”. And then, Shirley just disappears and ghosts you…
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Even if you change the name, it’s the same thing dang it!
Signature KOI Reopened
That’s right. All of a sudden, on 22 May 2020, Signature KOI announced on their Facebook that they are back and will be open from 12 pm to 9 pm daily.
This should have been news as great as announcing that a COVID-19 cure had been manufactured.
It should have.
Yet, the post only gathered a measly 127 reactions and just over 50 comments and shares.
The opening was so secret that they didn’t even reply to comments asking about it.
What happened? How is this bigly news kept a secret?
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It’s such a secret that the pinned post on Signature KOI isn’t even the announcement that they are open, but the previous one that they will remain closed.
I looked at our favourite news condenser who is usually on the ball, Mothership. Nothing.
Impossible. How about MustShareNews?
Nothing.
Stop lying to me, Google and Straits Times!
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Oh, I see how this is huh?
Nobody shared this amazing news because y’all wanted to hoard the goods for yourself huh?
This is like how my “friends” all knew that Shirley really wanted a breakup and nobody told me about it.
Long Queues Already Formed
Just like how the next time I saw Shirley was with another guy, smiling the way that she never did before with me, there is now little hope for me to queue at the Signature Koi shop.
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Lest you don’t know, Signature KOI refers to just the branch at Jewel Changi (Jewel, Changi Airport, #01-K206, Near Lift Lobby E).
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The question is, how long are you willing to queue?
But Why Signature KOI Can Open And Not Other KOI?
We’ve already said that bubble tea shops can’t be opened in Phase One. So what magic did Signature KOI cast?
Did they bribe a gahmen official? Is KOI officially sponsored by the gahmen? Is Lee Hsien Loong’s favourite bubble tea brand secretly KOI?
Turns out, the secret is that Signature KOI sells pastries as well.
And you’re probably like: what…?
You see, F&B outlets except for those that sell predominantly beverages are not allowed to open.
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But if you flip that around, it means that if you sell things other than beverages, you will be allowed to open.
Just like the three Gong Cha outlets that are now open.
So, I have a very elegant solution for bubble tea shops to be opened all around Singapore. I request a 1% commission or a lifetime bubble tea card for this amazing idea:
Just buy an air fryer or something and sell, I don’t know, maybe some nuggets or fries. Now, technically, your bubble tea shop is not just a beverage shop.
Think out of the box, people.
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Note: Goody Feed and this writer are not responsible if the plan doesn’t work.
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